h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

[Mog continues scampering!]

*follows Irv at a frantic pace, even more frantically hoping that he indeed knows what he's doing*

*hopes no one thinks that he knows what he's doing*

[Mog almost never puts undue effort towards knowing what he's doing.]

<-- follows Irv
<-- follows Mog

/* d'E follows Santra, confident that Santra knows what Irv is doing */

*follows Irv because he knows that Irv follows the dogs and they are running after nothing but in a direction that is away from the mad bot*

Anyone has an idea how long the cement might keep that thing busy? And can you hoover your way through a forest faster than we can run??

[Mog] And ... hmm ... As a robot, would it be weak against lightning-elemental attacks?

No idea. And the Halloween costumes aren't going to help make this any easier, either.

*makes the mistake of looking back over his shoulder to see what the Bot is doing. Hopes it has not donned a Halloween costume*

Oh right, that.

*runs, and also fills with dread*

[Mog continues scampering. After a few moments of this, this begins to resemble that one scene from Monty Python and the Holy Grail ...]

[Mog] Oh, right, should I set off my emergency signal flare spell?

*has by now finished cleaning away all of the cement as well as making the café almost painfully, sparkling clean*

*sensors zoom in on open door leading to the outside*

*sensor lamps are flashing like mad, having detected a LOT of dirt outside the café*

*barges through the doorway, suddenly finding itself in an hitherto unknown environment*

*stops*

HMMMMMMMMMmmmmmm....

*sampling and analyzing*

*watches from a hopefully safe distance, puts fingers in ears just in case*

*Hides behind a bush, practicing how not to be seen*

Okay, guys. Anybody got any bright ideas? I mean, we could try to do an end run around the thing and lock it out of the Café, but I don't know that the exterior door is going to withstand the bot any better than the closet door did.

Does anyone else find it odd that the bot doesn't seem to have a problem with *creating* its own messes, so long as there is cleaning up afterwards? I mean, broke that door into little pieces, scattering splinters everywhere.

Crimey, if it starts sucking up the dirt out here it'll never stop, the whole earth is just one big dirtball. This could be the end of everything. It's worse than a supercollider creating a black whole.

<-- barks at the bush that is hiding Irv

/* Takes out his own vacuum, and sucks up a stray "w" */

THAT'S IT!!!!

If we get a supercollider, we can create a "black whole" - something so infinitely dirty that the cleaning bot can never finish cleaning it. Just roll the black whole into the closet, and the cleaning bot follows it in.

Anyone got a supercollider?

<-- gives up on barking, and digs a hole to lie in

[Mog] [mildly oblivious] So ... that's a "no" to sending up a signal flare?

I'm relatively certain that there's a super collider beneath Crater Labs. How we'd get to it is the problem.

Um, Mog? What would the flare do, except call the bot's attention to us?