h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*something breaks through the broom closet door*

*it is the industrial strength hoover extension*

*it is set to blow - with industrial strength*

*the Cleaning Bot swithces it on and aims it straight at the Extremely Heavy Item*

*Item begins tipping the wrong way*

Um... Run!

[Mog looks around a moment, then scampers off after Irv!]

*Crouching just outside the door of the Café*

I *think* that it's programmed to stay within the boundaries of the Café. I don't *think* it will come out here, and I pray to 42 that it won't go through the tunnel to the Salon. If only one of the original programmers were here....

I wouldn't hold my breath if I were you, Irv:
F1742198?thread=392639&skip=432

*Having been trapped behind the Extremely Heavy Item for precious seconds now tries to run. With incredible luck the industrial strength hoover extension jetstream hits him full force and blows him straight out of the door to the others*

Phew! Hope you're right, Irv!

*Notices he is still carrying a bucket of still somewhat wet cement, getting ready to dry*

This should distract it.

*Irv opens the door, and flings the cement out of the bucket. It lands with a "splat" noise in the center of the Café floor, creating a glorious mess, and quickly beginning to dry, like in the cartoons.*

That should take a while to clean up, I imagine. Of course, how we get away in the meantime is a bit of a question.

*Looks up at his surroundings*

I haven't really been in the Forest for a while....

[Mog] Me neither! Although I suppose once we got there we could set off some sort of SOS signal-flare ... Er, any of you got something that would work for that?

/* Enters through the forest door with two dogs covered head-to-toe in mud */

Hey everyone, sorry for our extended absence. We were hunting truffles for the last few years and...

Uh oh.

<-- pick an extremely bad time to wag their mud-flinging tails

This is no good.

[Mog] Er ... er ... er ... Should we fight, or flee?

Well, that depends on what the bot does next. If it goes for the cement first, I say we grab d'E and get the helloutahere. If it goes for d'E, I think we gotta fight.

Zeppo, sit!
<-- sits, but his tail is now making mud trails on the floor

Gummo, sit!
<-- heads to a couch, and looks for truffles underneath

Um, ok, it might be a little late for this but does anyone know any dog trainers who are really, really fast?

I'd advise getting them out before that bot breaks through the door!

*looks at door, which is holding on by a couple of splinters at this point.*

*busts through the sorry remains of the broom closet door*

*immediately spots the cement*

*goes into a cement-removal-frenzy*

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!!

/* Grabs whatever he has in his pockets - truffles, , car keys, , , , , and fluff - as far out the door as he can manage. */


Zeppo! Gummo! FETCH! GET THE SQUIRREL! THERE'S A GOOSE! GO GET 'EM!

/* Hits "Post Message" prematurely when Zeppo and Gummo both bowl him over on the way to get the geese, squirrels, tomatoes, and donuts. */

[Mog scampers off comically out the door!]

*runs toward the door, tries to spot where the dogs are going and hopes to be going roughly the same way*

Gee, fast dogs on a wild goose chase...

Quick, into the woods! Place is so full of leaves and dirt, the Bot won't possibly be able to keep on us!

I hope....