h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Calling in from out of town* Wow! I call in from my vacation to see what's going on, and I get a kiss! How holiday spirited Anyway, What flavor Italian Cream Soda was that? I like blueberry myself! *Hangs up phone, glad to find that he can get in touch with his café from out of town *

~Irving, Home for the Holidays

Hi Helena ! How 'bout a hot mocha java !

Nothin' like an ice-cold blueberry italian cream soda to soothe the nerves. Now, about that scone. . .

Mmmm...I myself could use a cherry Italian soda. So...thirsty...

Yeah, that's a good flavor too, but I'll stick with my current drink for now. Of course, you know what would make it better? My scone. I'm tired of just reading the guide entry on scones, I want an actual scone. Right now. I'm getting hungry. I've been waiting for, what, 48 hours?

good scones take time to make! *in teacherlike voice*

no not really, so here you are:

*3 perfect scones with cream and strawberry and blueberry jam together with icecold blueberry sode with italian cream *

that better?

hm, dreymers, you wanted your java served from Helena? So you'll have to wait, I have it ready

Perfect scones? I'll have to try this for myself.

*LATER*

Wow, I didn't believe it at first.

Mistletoe, eh? Well if anybody happens to be wandering under it... I'm waiting...

Gwennie wanders by mistletoe, glances around, checks breath and plants a smackeroonie on all the guys waiting for Helena!! Gotchya! Don't mind the false teeth chaps - I've had 'em soaking in "Domestos" over night....

Right, who else is waiting for Helena??? Hey, come back everyone!

I'm a new Hiker - How do I order a coffee? Pretty thirsty here.
The Cheese said I should come to this cafe for the best coffee...

Gwennie, I wasn't waiting for Helena particularly... just any female who was unfortunate enough to be wandering through...

So, you're not fussy then? Not bothered about "Domestos" and false teeth, hey? Aren't you a sweetie! (Gwennie plants a big kiss on cheek xxx)

*grins, and sips coffee*

There once was a girl named Gwennie
Who never thought she'd get any
She gave Roasted Amoeba
A peck on the cheek-a
And from that point on she got plenty!

Ahhh, poetry! Isn't that sweet... I've never inspired someone to poetry before and am patheticaly grateful for any I get (and anything else too)!

Hey Tim,

Smile and kiss Gwennie, you'll get a drink.
*grin*

Hey Tim. Ordering is easy. Just state what you want to order, then wait about 48 hours for someone to notice. BTW, I think I'll have some of that coffee now please. Hey, with Y2K coming up, I think any one who wants a last order should make it. Or maybe any final confessions. Of course, I don't want to become a ghost because my unfinished business was that I never got to drink my coffee. So, hurry up if its at all possible.

Its a bit like an Irish pub. You have to place your order well before you've finished your current drink as the staff here take great care and pride in the presentation of their drinkies....

I realized that. Which is why I'm taking so long to finish my scones. Of course, even perfect scones can become stale as I'm now realising.

Here, borrow my portable toaster. Its quite friendly and will make those scones all fresh and crispy. I've only got vegan margarine so if you want butter you may have to abSCONd (sorry!) with some from the counter....

Oh! I'm sorry - I can't help it.....it was my childhood you see...my parents are accountants (say no more).

Your toaster??? But what about RA - the Toaster from Tibet....????
I accept NO OTHER toast.