h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Does anyone want a coffee with that??

Does anyone need chocolate sprinkles?

Two double decaf mocha latee (?) capuccino with choclate sprinkles, toast and a bagel - please

here you go dearest, the boys in the backroom sorted it all out for me, now can I get you anything else?? *Glints* See Iring, told you I'd be good for business, there a huge crowd just come in from the local all boys school.

Well, thank you, Helena! Don't let them stare too long !

You know I'm only yours my love!! *Flicking him with her serving cloth* Well better run along, those people in the book corner keep me busy, but I put in my twopennorth when I'm passing!

*ouch* It's good to know we're all keeping busy!

How about I get you one Irving, you work too hard *winks*

Did I tell anybody about the special features available on toasters from Tibet? I have 5 heat settings, and I can toast 6 slices of bread at the same time. So nobody ever needs to go hungry for lack of toast.

You are a wonder *smiles*

I'm glad to be of assistance in any way I can... *smiles back*

You don't know how fulfilling it is to be a toaster; it gives me such joy to be able to make people happy through providing toast (and blackcurrant jam).

Of course, being a waitress must have its fun moments...

I provide happiness too in my own little way! Mainly by being an incorrigible flirt, I grant you! (I'm worse in real life, I really am!)

You? An incorrigible flirt! I would never have guessed...

I have surprising layers!!

I am very impressed by your multi-layered character... not only do you wear a short skirt, you also flirt... this is indeed a multi-faceted person of the highest order.

I agree! multi-faceted character, multi-talented... Congratulations on a well rounded persona! And, though I doubt I work as hard as you think I do, yes, I'd love it if you brought me a cup...

OK, you want multi faceted, I'm also a dress size 18/20 I don't know what that is in american sizes, but its pretty big, I can flirt in about 10 different languages and spent my spare time studying comtemporary peotry. As well as Drama. But I like people thinking I'm shallow, you get away with so much more! And then surprise them when they suddenly realise, you know more about what they're trying to explain to you than they do! I still don't have a bloody clue about computers though. Heres your coffee, tee hee!

That really is multi-faceted! You are, in fact, the perfect waitress. Supposedly shallow, but in fact surprisingly sophisticated (how's that for alliteration).

Oh, and can I have a cup of tea to dip into my toast please?

The pots on to stew. (Proper Scottish tea) There you go. I was fired from being a waitress in a restaurant after less than a month. Unfortunately that was because I hadn't gained my cover fact then, and the manager didn't like the fact that I hopelessly outclassed him. I think when I explained to him the difference between a real capucino and the stuff we served (Strong Cafe latte would be the appropriate description) and that it was spelt _Espresso_ actually, that was it. But I like working in a nice intellectual cafe. Especially as everyone is so nice to me. And as the only waitress, I'm getting lots of attention. Or could that be my top?