h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

...Mr. Greenjeans!... BOO HOO...

*Collapses into Kumabear's arms, sobbing.*

~sob-sob-sob-hic-sob ~

Too many ads, ~sob~ now. Ruined everything. Trite plots, canned laughter!! They should never have started with canned laughter ~sob-sob~

Remember the Beverly Hillbillies? Those were the days...oh, where are the Gilligan's of yesteryear?


*Her shoulders shaking she buries her face into the bear's furry chest, so she won't see the flames anymore.*

Battlestar Galactica and Speed Racer!

Leave it to Beaver!!! Waaaa!

Modern television....
The best thing I've seen recently was "Blackadder Back And Forth". If you saw it, then there's no reason left to go to teh dome.

*Wipes her eyes and tries to collect herself. Searches her purse without success for a hankie.*

~sniff~ We don't get Black Adder. Well, I suppose its best to just go on. Darn PTB anyway.

*Tears off a leaf and uses it for a hankie.*

Blaat!

Fear not my children. I am striving to make changes in the programming of all television. Soon you will be able to see whatever you like, just as long as you pay your tithes

-Archbishop Marv.

*Gives the Archbishop a startled look.*

Tithes? How can you control, I mean.. um tithes? Like what?

*Begins thinking about what changes she would want made.*

Can you cut the ads down to 3 minutes per half hour?

No ads at all save for one channel of pure classic commercials. The funny ones.

!

*Brightens up considerably and tosses a portable Zenith onto the bonfire.*

Where do I sign up?

Just help your Archbishop overthrow all TV stations and we can get started immediatly.

~thinking that one over~

I need some chocolate to settle my nerves. Well, we do have the elephants. And Bluebottle.

So let us go to the nearest Chocolate Shrine and get some Brownie goodness!

*She throws a final remote control into the blaze, mounts Emma, and follows the Archbishop to the Shrine of Chocolate, wherever it may be.*

Hope it isn't far.

And Behold! the shrine!!

*They all cram into the shop and stand looking at the shelves of baked goodies... donuts, long johns, bismarks, kalachke's, coffee cakes, filled danishes, pies, and brownies.*


!!! Yes, please. Some of everything to go.!

Put it on the Church accout will you good man?

In that case we'll clean out the shop! Buy it all and bag it to go!!!

Errrm, better let me write out a check then. I am not sure that we have *that* much in our coffers after our initial bid to buy out all of the TV stations in the world.

The money remains in the coffers, until the stations accept our bids, so we shouldn't have a problem...yet. Just as long as we have it back in time to pay the bills, so to speak.

You know, now that I think about it, buying out the stations shouldn't be too hard. Normally, you want to depritiate a business, so that it doesn't cost so much, but they've already done that now haven't they?

Perhaps we should start with one station. When we control the market share, we can branch out. Much like Mr Turner... Never mind!



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