h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I will name mine Jenny, after my parents' labrador retriever. Pay no attention to the puddle of drool she is sure to leave.

G7

**NOTE: For anyone confused by this warning, spend some time with labs. They tend to store excess water in their flues, then wash down unsuspecting innocents with tongue baths.**

*Nods in agreement, being very familiar with labs.*

Jenny is a beautiful pachyderm, Gw7en! I'm glad you're coming with us.

Marv, are you riding or walking? Ormondroyd; whistle. You know how to whistle. Just put your lips together and blow.


(thank you, thank you!! I've always wanted to use that line!!!!)

*Humungous breaks wind and envelops Mar-rae in a cloud of stink*

You've been hanging around with Gwennie too much!

*Holds her nose and moves upwind of Humungous.*

Maybe I'm glad that Jenny leaks out of the other end...

*tosses Mari-rae a lavender scented nose-gay, staying as out of the cloud as possible*

You should really keep better track of what you feed Humungous, Kuma. Elephants and burritos apparently just don't mix.

G7

Thanks, Gw7en! Do you want to do some shopping together for our trip?

Yes! I read once that shopping was modern woman's psychological link to the gathering instinct which is why we enjoy it so much. And here I thought it was just because I liked getting new stuff.

Shall we?

G7

Yes! There is a nice little row of shops just back down the road a piece. I had my hair done and bought this nice pants suit (don't you like the periwinkle blue color?), but I forgot to get a hat. And I need an umbrella too, for the trip. Do women HAVE a gathering instinct? I didn't know. *Thinks about all her little collections of stuff back at home.* Oh yeah, guess we do. I frequently think of shopping as retail therapy, but I mostly just like anything new. Too.

Ah, so you come and get me in the pub when you have finished then ???

ROFL

Ok! (wondering why he is rolling around laughing?!!)

Just playing to stereotype - i actually quite enjoy shopping, depending on what i am shopping for, of course

Well, hoist yourself up out of the dirt and come with us, then. ! Anyone else need supplies?

I could do with a new flamethrower....?

Ok; new hats, a pretty umbrella, maybe some darling little hiking boots, and a flamethrower. Anyone else?

* They stroll back along the road to the row of shops. The first shop they come to is a boutique.*

Ooo, Gw7en! Look at the fun jewelry!! * They have a great time looking at the rings, bracelets, necklaces, and earrings.* If I could find a pin with an elephant, it would be so perfect on the lapel of my jacket.

Yes, an elephant pin would look wonderful! How about this one with the emerald eyes. (Who knew that elephants could have green eyes? )

I think I'll pick up this lovely elephant scarf myself, in place of a hat. Just as useful, but in a strangely stylish way.

G7

I was thinking of a pith helmet this time. You could wind a scarf through all the stringy things on it. Didn't Faye Raye wear one in KK?

*They wander out of the boutique with lots of purchased necessities for the journey. The next store says 'FLAMETHROWERS R US'.*

Hey Bluebottle! Did you want to go into this shop at all?

No my son, fight the temptation to burn things!

Oooh. I always did like Faye Raye's fashion sense. Very nice, Mari-Rae!

Do you really think that we can keep Bluebottle out?!?!

G7

Whether you can or can't is one thing, but the shop's wooden walls definately can't!

*Stands uncertainly, not willing to do something her Archbishop doesn't want her to do.*

BB, do you really need a new flamethrower? Isn't your old one running all right?