h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: Billy Connolly -Comedian - A18620336
Author: Opticalillusion - media mynx is ill - hot milk and sugar is disgusting - U231227

I believe there's little left to do on this.

I'm pretty sure if you read this through, and take note of what people normally pick you up for, you can find some things to correct

This has been in the EGWW: F6285190?thread=3791743

You can't leave it as it is, Opti.

>>sent to live with his father's sisters Margeret and Mona who beat him up and sexually abused for five years by his father since he was ten.<<
First, there's a comma missing, second: you say he lived with his father's sisters, when did he move back to his father's then?
If the apprenticeship was five years (starting in1960), and he left in the early 1960s, does it mean he didn't finish his apprenticeship?
I think you should completely restructure the Childhood paragraph, as it doesn't make much sense the way it stands now, sorry.
>> After a while Tam Harvey and Connolly collaborated to create The Humblebum's<< Who's Tam Harvey?How did they meet? Is the name really the Humblebum's, or is it Humblebums?
There's lots more, like wrong headers talking of Connoly.
This is very far from being finished, let it rest for a week or so, then read with fresh eyes to pick up all the oddities you're too close to see now.

With respect, Bella, I think before any further reviewing takes place, OpticalIllusion needs to go through all previous threads, post by post, and ensure she has addressed every query and each request. I also believe that those people need to agree with the work done, so basic courtesy would request that the author posts here each time she makes a significant change.

I agree there is plenty more to be done here, but let us all try this time to be a little more disciplined in our reviewing and take this step by step.

The man deserves a lucid, clear and fair representation of his life, and I for one would like this entry to require minimal subbing.



W

With respect, Wilma, I didn't intend to do any further reviewing, which is why I suggested that Opti should go through the entry herself again. The few things I mentioned were merely to point out that there are things that need be done, and I think it would be odd to state this without giving an example or two, explaining why I think so.

I agree with you, Bella. No arguments from this quarter.

W

Great, so we all agree and just wait for Opti to come back to us once she has worked on this.

How's this coming along, Opti?

GB

needs drastically updating me thinks aka Attenborough stylee.

I've started re-addressing this. Slowly but surely I'll get there.

Keep up the good work!

Just polished the childhood section.

Got up to Humblebums

Cant find the reason to how Connolly and Harvey met

Here's a nice link for the Humblebums: http://www.nigelgatherer.com/perf/duos1/hum.html

and I don't think you've included this really excellent New Scotsman article: http://news.scotsman.com/topics.cfm?tid=966&id=347132005 which you might consider.

Great entry!!

Zarquon for your compliment and links.

right I have re-addressed points 2, 3, 4 and the pointers of 5 in the Edited Guide Writing Workshop thread for Connolly. Still need to address the rest of Gnomon's posting (5). I've made a start though.

Addressed all of Gnomons points in post five now I feel, except this:

>>Talk about the fact that he can talk for two and a half hours at a stretch without forgetting what he is saying, and do this five nights in a row without repeating himself.

Have you done that yet, Opti?

I would like to know how Gnomon knows...should i quote gnomon as saying this?