h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: Billy Connolly -Comedian - A18620336
Author: Opticalillusion - I'm driving myself mad on 9th - U231227

As Boudica moves over to PR here comes Billy Connolly.

Nice one Opit, well done

Did he have a nickname "bigyin" or something, if so could you mention it in the entry...
I the BC is a good chap and he deserves a mention as good as this.

This is a nice entry (in my opinion). I leave the technical stuff for PR to sort.

Bob...

I have been aware of Billy Connolly for a while now, but I've only seen a few of his movies. I never knew much about him, so I was glad to see this.

Just some nitpicky things, you seem to use both single quotes ' and double quotes ". It should be entirely singles. Also, album, book and movie titles need to be italicised - in the Entry they sometimes are and sometimes aren't.

'...who uses controversial and vulgar humour, in his stand-up acts' - remove that comma.

When you say 'Edinburgh Festival' do you mean Edinburgh Fringe Festival?

As it stands, I don't like this entry at all. It is a list of all the things that Billy Connolly did, but nothing about who he is, why he is funny and whether you'd want to spend an evening with the man. It would benefit greatly from removing a lot of the details of his various tours and putting in some actual interesting stuff.

Talk about his alcohol dependency. His recovery. His ads for Kaliber.

Talk about his early comedy which consisted of jokes, and his later comedy which consisted of observations about life.

Talk about the fact that he can talk for two and a half hours at a stretch without forgetting what he is saying, and do this five nights in a row without repeating himself.

His attitude to 'bad language'.

What he looks like - the 1970s hairy guy. The 1990s guy with the purple beard. The pierced nipples. The motor bike. The streaking in public places.

Lots of work to do.

G


Some points:

His name isn't William Billy Connolly. Billy is short for William. He is either William Connolly or Billy Connolly.

He was born 24 November --> He was born on 24 November

Margeret -- the normal spelling is Margaret

Connolly's past time --> Connolly's pastime

the early 60's --> the early 1960s

Pete Seger --> Pete Seeger

in and accross Glasgow --> in and around Glasgow

to create The Humblebum's --> to create The Humblebums

The Humblebum's created --> The Humblebums created

his first child Jamie, was born -- either remove the comma or put one in after child

In 1971 The Humblebum's came --> In 1971 The Humblebums came

"Despite these amusing parodies though, the head of Transatlanic Records believed Connolly would be better off as a comedian." -- this sentence doesn't work because the amusing parodies were comedy. Change it to "as a stand-up comedian".

"One particular memorable sketch is "The Crucifixion" recorded live in 1973 it tells the tale of a drunken night out in Glasgow and is compared to Christ's last supper" -- this is two sentences bunged together. Split it up.

Also change particular memorable to particularly memorable

Also change double quotes to single quotes

"Connolly's first play was called An' Me Wi' A Bad Leg, Tae written in 1977 the play was a disaster as were several other plays Connolly wrote" -- another double sentence.

"Connolly's first marriage also came to a close in the 80's and he won custody of the children, that year was 1985 and in the same year Connolly did 'An Audience with...' that featured fellow celebrities watching his comedy act." - another

two dwarves --> two dwarfs

was on The Nine O'Clock News --> was on Not The Nine O'Clock News

"Marriage to Pam didn't change me, it saved me, I was going to die" -- you've suddenly introduced Billy 'dying' without any explanation. Can you put in something about the problems in his life, or remove this quote.

Gnomon I don't like it all either at the moment thats why its taking shape in this forum. for your suggestions I'm eager to take you up on these talking points and the other pointers you mention.

Opti, you should learn to decide for yourself what should go in entries, not just get everybody else to do the work for you and then rewrite what they say.

What I said here about Billy Connolly is exactly what I said about Dawn French, so I shouldn't have had to repeat it. Didn't you learn anything from writing the Dawn French entry?

Opti this is a good entry but Gnoman may have a point.

You have documented his life and acheivements, but who is he, This a hard type of entry to do and you are brave to try.
Please consider a review with the idea of putting something of the substance of the man in it.
I know you can do it I have read your work, the Boudiccia entry was just full of the sprit of the woman.


Bob...