h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

What's this I keep hearing 'bout an AL club? Could someone please point out where it is? PLEASE???????? I REALLY don't want to have to resort to begging..........

Agreed!

I knew that we were having problems when
you put those pirahnas in my bath tub again.
I used to think you were nice.
Now you tell all your friends that I'm the Anti Christ.

Oh why did you disconnect the brakes on my car?
That kind of thing is hard to ignore.
Gotta funny feeling
You don't love me anymore.

Urm... more Bowie, I'm afraid... I hope that nobody is offended by a certain word....

"
Uh-uh-uh uh, uh, uh-uh uh-uh-uh

Johnny's in America
Low techs at the wheel

Uh-uh-uh uh, uh, uh-uh uh-uh-uh

Nobody needs anyone
They don't even just pretend

Uh-uh-uh uh, uh, uh-uh uh-uh-uh

Johnny's in America
I'm afraid of Americans
I'm afraid of the world
I'm afraid I can't help it
I'm afraid I can't
I'm afraid of Americans
I'm afraid of the world
I'm afraid I can't help it
I'm afraid I can't
I'm afraid of Americans

Johnny's in America

Uh-uh-uh uh, uh, uh-uh uh-uh-uh

Johnny wants a brain
Johnny wants to suck on a Coke
Johnny wants a woman
Johnny wants to think of a joke

Uh-uh-uh uh, uh, uh-uh uh-uh-uh

Johnny's in America

Uh-uh-uh uh, uh, uh-uh uh-uh-uh

I'm afraid of Americans
I'm afraid of Americans
I'm afraid of the world
I'm afraid I can't help it
I'm afraid I can't
I'm afraid of Americans
I'm afraid of the world
I'm afraid I can't help it
I'm afraid I can't
I'm afraid of Americans
Uh-uh-uh uh, uh, uh-uh uh-uh-uh

Johnny's in America
Johnny looks up at the stars
Johnny combs his hair
And Johnny wants pussy in cars

Johnny's in America

uh-uh-uh uh, uh, uh-uh uh-uh-uh

Johnny's in America

uh-uh-uh uh, uh, uh-uh uh-uh-uh

I'm afraid of Americans
I'm afraid of Americans
I'm afraid of the world
I'm afraid I can't help it
I'm afraid I can't
I'm afraid of Americans
I'm afraid of the world
I'm afraid I can't help it
I'm afraid I can't
Yeah, I'm afraid of Americans
I'm afraid of Americans
I'm afraid I can't help it
I'm afraid I can't
I'm afraid of Americans

God is an American
God is an American
God is an American
God is an American
God is an American
God is an American
God is an American
God is an American
God is an American
God is an American
God is an American
God is an American
God is an American
God is an American
God is an American
God is an American

Six sides to every lie I say
It's that American voice again
It was never quite like this before
Not one of you's the same

Do do do...

Finally someone jumps on the Tears for Fears bandwagon.

And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had
And I find it hard to tell you
'Cause I find it hard to take
When people run in circles it's a very very
Mad world
Mad world....

In the same vein:

Words like violence
Break the silence
Come crashing in
Into my little world
Painful to me
Pierce right through me
Can't you understand
Oh my little girl
All I ever wanted
All I ever needed
Is here
In my arms
Words are very
Unnecessary
They can only do harm....

I thought I told you to leave me
When you walked down to the beach
Tell me, how does it feel
When your heart grows cold....

I don't believe in an interventionist God
But I know, darling, that you do
But if I did I would kneel down and ask Him
Not to intervene when it came to you
Not to touch a hair on your head
To leave you as you are
And if He felt He had to direct you
Then direct you into my arms

Into my arms, O Lord
Into my arms, O Lord
Into my arms, O Lord
Into my arms

Candy, Candy, Candy I can't let you go,
All my life I've waited for you something something.

Did someone say "Bowie" ? Remember this....(I think I've got the words right)

'Time takes a cigarette
Puts it in your mouth
You pull on your finger
Then another finger
Then your cigarette
The boulevards are calling
But you linger
Then you forget
Oh, no no no......
You're a rock & roll suicide'

___________

Or how 'bout....

'Ziggy played guitar
Jammin good with Will & Gilly
And the Spiders from Mars
He played it left hand
But, he made it too far
Became so loaded, man
Well hung and snow white tan.......'

_________________

Or...

' As they poured you out of the oxygen tent
You asked for the latest party
With your silicon hump
And your tanned (something) stump
Dressed like a priest, you were
(something-something-something)
Crawling down the alley on your hands and knees
I'm sure your not protected(?) for this fantasy
The diamond dogs are poachers and they hide behind trees
Pressed into the ground
They were Americans with........
(They call)
I keep my friends serene
(They call)
Oh, baby, come home to me
(They call)
Come out of the doorway, baby
You'll catch your death in the fog
Young girls
They call them the diamond dogs.......'


Ok, that's enough. I think my age is showing!
Luna

Sorry to be a bugger, but:

"This ain't rock'n'roll. This is genocide!

As they pulled you out of the oxygen tent
You asked for the latest party
With your silicone hump and your ten inch stump
Dressed like a priest you was
Tod Browning's freak you was

Crawling down the alley on your hands and knees
I'm sure you're not protected, for it's plain to see
The diamond dogs are poachers and they hide behind trees
Hunt you to the ground they will, mannequins with kill appeal

>Will they come?
I'll keep a friend serene
>Will they come?
Oh baby, come unto me
>Will they come?)
Well, she's come, been and gone.
Come out of the garden, baby
You'll catch your death in the fog
Young girl, they call them the Diamond Dogs
Young girl, they call them the Diamond Dogs

The Halloween Jack is a real cool cat
And he lives on top of Manhattan Chase
The elevator's broke, so he slides down a rope
Onto the street below, oh Tarzie, go man go

Meet his little hussy with his ghost town approach
Her face is sans feature, but she wears a Dali brooch
Sweetly reminiscent, something mother used to bake
Wrecked up and paralyzed, Diamond Dogs are sableized

>Will they come?
I'll keep a friend serene
>Will they come?
Oh baby, come unto me
>Will they come?)
Well, she's come, been and gone.
Come out of the garden, baby
You'll catch your death in the fog
Young girl, they call them the Diamond Dogs
Young girl, they call them the Diamond Dogs
Oo-oo-ooh, call them the Diamond Dogs
Oo-oo-ooh, call them the Diamond Dogs

In the year of the scavenger, the season of the bitch
Sashay on the boardwalk, scurry to the ditch
Just another future song, lonely little kitsch
>There's gonna be sorrow
So try and wake up tomorrow

>Will they come?
I'll keep a friend serene
>Will they come?
Oh baby, come unto me
>Will they come?)
Well, she's come, been and gone.
Come out of the garden, baby
You'll catch your death in the fog
Young girl, they call them the Diamond Dogs
Young girl, they call them the Diamond Dogs
Ooh, call them the Diamond Dogs
Ooh, call them the Diamond Dogs
Bow-wow, woof woof, bow-wow, wow
Call them the Diamond Dogs
Dogs
Call them the Diamond Dogs, call them, call them
Call them the Diamond Dogs, call them, call them, ooo
Call them the Diamond Dogs

Keep cool
Diamond Dogs rule, OK
Hey-hey-hey-hey

Beware of the Diamond Dogs
Beware of the Diamond Dogs"

You're all going to kill me, I know... sorry (Really, I am!!):

"Time takes a cigarette, puts it in your mouth
You pull on your finger, then another finger, then your cigarette
The wall-to-wall is calling, it lingers, then you forget
Ohhh, you're a rock 'n' roll suicide

You're too old to lose it, too young to choose it
And the clocks waits so patiently on your song
You walk past a cafe but you don't eat when you've lived too long
Oh, no, no, no, you're a rock 'n' roll suciide

Chev brakes are snarling as you stumble across the road
But the day breaks instead so you hurry home
Don't let the sun blast your shadow
Don't let the milk float ride your mind
They're so natural - religiously unkind

Oh no love! you're not alone
You're watching yourself but you're too unfair
You got your head all tangled up but if I could only make you care
Oh no love! you're not alone
No matter what or who you've been
No matter when or where you've seen
All the knives seem to lacerate your brain
I've had my share, I'll help you with the pain
You're not alone

Just turn on with me and you're not alone
Let's turn on with me and you're not alone
Let's turn on and be not alone
Gimme your hands cause you're wonderful
Gimme your hands cause you're wonderful
Oh gimme your hands."

Last one, for now, I swear!!

"Ziggy played guitar, jamming good with Weird and Gilly
The spiders from Mars. He played it left hand
But made it too far
Became the special man, then we were Ziggy's band

Ziggy really sang, screwed up eyes and screwed down hairdo
Like some cat from Japan, he could lick 'em by smiling
He could leave 'em to hang
Came on so loaded man, well hung and snow white tan.

So where were the spiders while the fly tried to break our balls
Just the beer light to guide us,
So we bitched about his fans and should we crush his sweet hands?

Ziggy played for time, jiving us that we were voodoo
The kids were just crass, he was the nazz
With God given ass
He took it all too far but boy could he play guitar

Making love with his ego Ziggy sucked up into his mind
Like a leper messiah
When the kids had killed the man I had to break up the band.

Oh yeah
Ooo
Ziggy played guitar"

No way would I kill you for the corrections!!
Many smiles to you,man. (well , you get my point)
I was trying to pull these lyrics out of a tired brain, while "You've Got Mail" was on the t.v. in the next room.
We've got sliding walls, no door. Get the picture?
We can't agree on 'Tull but, I am a huge Bowie fan!! Especially the old stuff.
My son got Earthling? just the other day. (probably got the title wrong again, he laughs 'cause I keep calling it Earthlink.)
Anyway, I like it. Don't have the latest, yet!

Thanks again, Luna

Strange as it may sound, this is my most favorite of all.
The brain improvises the words-but the tune plays on.

luna

Ummm....I was talking about 'Rock & Roll Suicide'
Hey, Sporkilious, I've got two Ziggy Stardusts on vinyl. The last song on one is this one.
Do you know what the last song on the other is?

Luna

A challange? Give me five minutes, and you'll have it... I love EARTHLING!!!!!!!!!! I'm awaiting this wednesday, when I can go out and buy Bowie's Hours.... I'm !!!!!P-S-Y-C-H-E-D!!!!!

Hmm... depends on which albums you have... here I go:

...If you have the Album.......................Then the song is...
David Bowie BBC Sessions '69-'72...........Let Me Sleep Beside You
ChangesOneBowie.......................................Golden Years
Changes Bowie............................................Blue Jean
Bowie: The Singles................................All the Young Dudes
Rarest One Bowie.......................................I Feel Free
Rarest One Bowie II...........................Rock 'N Roll Suicide
Stage.......................................................TVC-15
Sound & Vision................................Rock 'N Roll Suicide
Santa Monica..................................Rock 'N Roll Suicide
The Singles Collection............................Sound and Vision
Ziggy Stardust................................Rock 'N Roll Suicide
Ziggy Stardust.......................................Lady Stardust
Ziggy Stardust (The Movie)....................Rock 'N Roll Suicide
Breaking Glass..................................... Ziggy Stardust
The Jean Genie......................................Ziggy Stardust

I hope it falls into either of those categories... I am not about to route about and find out Holland or Swiss Album variations.

Her Majesty's a pretty nice girl,
but she doesn't have a lot to say.
Her Majesty's a pretty nice girl,
but she changes from day to day.
I wanna tell her that I love her a lot
but I gotta get a belly full of wine.
Her Majesty's a pretty nice girl
and some day I'm gonna make her mine (oh yeah)
some day I'm gonna make her mine.

And I don't believe in the existence of angels.
But looking at you I wonder if thats true
And if I did I would summon them together
Ask them to watch over you
To each burn a candle for you
to make bright and clear your path
and to walk like Christ in grace and love
and guide you into my arms
Into my arms O Lord
Into my arms O Lord
Into my arms O Lord
Into my arms