h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*DD aka JB appears on a mountain not disimilar to Mt. Sandcastle on a ski do he jumps over a ridge......*

*Not far behind is E, dodging enemy fire, she hurries to catch up with JB, hoping he realises she's not the enemy...*

*JB and E stop at the edge of a forest. A small trickle of snow crosses their path. They look up......*

*DE drops out of the tree he's been hiding in watching the chase*

*...glad to see that the helicopter was waiting for them...*

*...only to realise the helicopter pilot isn't one of Q's men as he opens fire from his machine gun mountings. JB pushes the others down the slope and skis backwards firing his trusty PPK.....*

*dodging yet more bullet's E is suddenly glad that JB's such a good shot as she hears the helicopter pilot scream and fall out of the helicopter...*

*...only for 12 black clad skiiers to emerge from the right....*

*But Bluebottle, the evil henchman who is so hard-to-kill he is insured and has a pension scheme, has spotted them...*

*DE hides behind the nearest tree and leaps out at the first skiier landing on top of him*

*There is a sickening crunch*

*11 Black clad skiiers continue down the mountain*

*....meanwhile Bond dispatches of two more by inserting ski poles in their path. The leap 10 feet in the air and land with a clump.


Only 9 Black clad skiiers remain....*

*DE dons skis from downed skiier, seizes gun and follows the down mountain after others*

*....Bond skis up to cable car support strut. Grabs a hold and swings around. Catches one of the baddies with his skis. Gets another with fist as he skis past unexpectedly.

7 to go.....*

*two black clad skiiers turn off to chase down E..... DE follows close behind slowly gaining on them....*

*stopping next to JB, E pulls out her gun and takes aim...
...6 left*

*....the six split off three and three. JB follows the ones to the left...*

*...E goes to the right...*

*The 2 skiiers close on E from her blind side.... DE turns his stolen weapon to automatic fire, mowing them down before they pull the trigger*

*Two corpses roll to a stop by E's feet*

*The evil henchman, Bluebottle, observes this cooly through binoculars from a distance, and jots notes down on a laptop.*

*Stopping only to pick up a Martini, shaken, not stirred*