h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*a small room off to the right of the entrance. a red door giving a warm appearance but this is the assassins guild, do not forget that. a slender man in an off grey cloak sits at the large oak desk by the window. he is shuffling through some obsolete files.
a small wooden placard on his desks tells you this is :


H.O.G.Father Creachy

he looks up and beckons you to sit with a lowering of his sharp, intense eyes.*

what is your name and why are you here?

*he asks in a firm, no nonsense voice.*

well?

*walks in wereing a full lenth cape with the hood up completly covering her face*

forgive me father for i have sinned

do i look like a priest? *looks down at his off black cloak and tailored trousers* ok, does this look like a confession booth? *looks around at the mostly unfurnished, undecorated, plain office.*


...erm, i'm sure it doesn't matter Anthea

how can i help you? and can i have some recruits please i think this inquisition is going to cause me problems.

i will give you some recrutes
and i sorted out the inquisision told them you had guild backing....

ah, thankyou. and if there is anything i can ever offer you, just ask

i take it you are not plotting anything to which i would not give guild backing....

moi? i am here to make money madam doing what i am good at..*stands and takes a cigar from a small wooden box on his desk, leaves the lid open and turns it to face Anthea in a gesture of offering*..but i found myself being questioned by a jumped up MP. then it occured to me how many more innocent..*lightes his cigar and exales a thick cloud of smoke in an upward direction*..honest assassins were being accosted by these, vermin for lack of a better word, who obviously have interests in building the power of the Thingites, using the loyalty of the guild as a questioning point. very distasteful, and in need of regulating.

do you even know what their mandate to the guild is? i haven't seen it yet either

bad noys is on soon so i might dissappear

i will regulate the inquisision....
if thay bnother you... let me know

*twiddles thumbs*

*lurks for a while*

*hums an irrelevent tune*

OK, stay exactly where you are. This is a raid by the CofE Police.

We've had this place under surveillance for quite some time. There's only one God and he's an Anglican.

You, over there in the grey blanket, get down on your knees and put your hands together. Don't try anything: my Curate-Assistant has got you covered with this harmonium.

[Blanketed bloke reaches for something]

Right, that's it: I warned you. [turns to side] Mr Forster, Hymn 197 please.

[Curate begins to play, in the manner of Ena Sharples] Der, der, der, der, der-der, der, der... der, der, der-der, der-der, derrrrrhh

[Exeunt omnes, with fingers in ears.]

*wonders wether to kill the Curate-Assistant or not*

don't worry about that, the candle burning just to the right of him contains cyanide gas, which due to the draught from the crack in the window is being blown perfectly for inhulation up his right nostril...


*the curate doubles up and then keels over with a nasty choking noise*


...ah, right on time too

what about the other one

a convert maybe ?

what other one? he left.

you been on the sherry again

*hides the bottle*
dont know what your talking about...
unless you would like to join me in a drink...

now you're talking


*walks over to a large wooden cabinet and opens a pull down shelf. there are many dusty bottles of vintage malt whisky's and various other spirits. pulls down 2 tumbler glasses with thickly engraved patterns on them.*


ice?


*pours a generous shot of 32yr old malt whisky into each glass*

please, take a seat. just don't sit near that candle

*gestures to the hooded monk to clear away the dead body which he does with worrying efficiency*

*sits away from the candle*
nice place you set up here....
very plesent...

oh ice yes please....

*opens a lower cupboard which really is a hidden fridge with the ice bucket appliance fitted.*


why thankyou, i try to keep it simplistic enough to cater for my most basic needs, like surviving

how are things in your place?

*lets a couple of blocks of ice drop into each glass and hands one to Anthea as he sits down*