h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Sorry wrong post !

Prince's song "Little Red Corvette" was originally a homage to vegetables until someone pointed out to him that courgettes aren't red.

Eventually the world will run out of black pixels and when you type into your computer, only blankness will come out unless you use another colour.

PP

If you tip your monitor on its side, all the colour will run out of the vents on the side.

If you have an LCD screen, the colour will build up at the bottom, and the screen will spring a leak, and dribble on the desk.

Mine has just done just that. Why didn't you warn me earlier?

A slight digression from the thread, as this actually happened - I used to work for a well known electrical retailer. Someone's pen had leaked, and left a stain on the floor, close to where I was re-arranging the display of portable TVs.
A new lad, somewhat gullible was just arriving, so I quickly placed a TV on it's side, on top of the stain. As he approached, I asked him to pass me the TV. He did - and noticed the stain.
I looked shocked, and cursed myself for leaving the TV on its side - and explained the problem with the dye in the TV screen running out. He was amazed - and actually believed me.
We managed to keep this up for over a week, until he began to notice that people seemed to leave TV's on their side whenever he was around...

Sorry Moonhog, but you seem to imply that the other posts in this thread are not true!

What are you on?

PP

I do apologise.

Don't know what came over me there.

Sorry.

Won't do it again.

Despite the best efforts of the pharmaceutical industry and billions spent on research, the best treatment for acne is chicken milk.

My dad managed to convince my brother and me that there's a laundry programme for dogs, and told us to go and look at the dial, and find a silhouette of a dog on it. (I was about 13 at the time, never used or looked at a laundry machine before. My brother was about 5)
Needless to say we actually checked...

Chocolate can only actually be digested and absorbed by women. Just as sweetcorn has absolutely no nutritional value, so it is with men and chocolate. Therefore, giving men chocolate is a waste of time as only women derive any benefit from it.

Has anyone mentioned that if a zebra walks past a barcode scanner, it comes up as frozen peas?

The Beatles wrote "Hey Jude" during their touring in Germany days, but the original was called "Achtung Juden"

Penguins can smell toothpaste from three miles away.

The number 4 was invented in 1562. Before that, the sequence of numbers went: 1, 2, 3, 5, 6, 7, 8...

The national anthem of Bhutan is "Roll out the barrel" played on the lute.

jo brand and john sergent are brother and sister

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Dame Helen Mirren once played scrum-half for Wigan.

Johnny Vegas actually comes from Los Angeles.