h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

bdum-bloomin-crash

I could have a prosperous career in stand up comedy.

Each years 2,342 Mexicans enter the united states by use of wings fashioned from parrot feathers and killer bee wax.

if you sat "gullible" really slowly....it sounds like a cheese

sorry i typed that in the dark...if you "say"

Glad you said cos I have been sitting gullible for ages.

sugar butties....ive just come out of the woods and atill teaching myself how to use a keyboard

It is a little known fact that the reason Mrs Tom Jones hated women throwing underwear on to the stage during Tom's act was because he would get her to pick them up to take home wash and wear, saying that it was a shame to throw them away when some of the looked quite expensive.

Elvis Presley's identical twin brother died at birth - everyone knows that. Elvis always thought that the spirit of his dead brother was by his side, so when Elvis ate lots of hamburgers he would explain that he was "eating for two".

I thought that it was Elvis who died at birth and the twin who masqueraded as Elvis for the rest of his life.

The guy who had all of the hits was in fact Colin Presley.

PP

The floorspace of all the Tescos in Britain combined is larger than Denmark.

Tesco will take over Poland and persecute all other supermarkets.

i have convinced SWL there is a god and hes going to church on Sunday

I can't go to Church this Sunday, as it's my day for cleaning the Mosque loo.

They have them tommorow or how many Mosque loo's do you have

Oh, I think some might understand if I say too many

ill stop hijacking the thread now

Gullible is actually, correctly spelt "gullipble".

The "p" is silent.

Yeah yeah, like the p in "bath"

PP

Or indeed like the silent 'H' in 'P!ukka', which is why Jamie Oliver has had to stop saying it, as too many "fans" have been "accidentaly" pronouncing it to him.

Stuck in a falling lift? When the lift it about to hit the bottom, simply jump in the air and you won't die.