h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Gets up from bar stool*

This feathered doom will not come anywhere near me...

*draws daggers*

*feathered doom descends on him from above*

walks in notices feathered doom, frowns, walks back out shaking head

*walks in and has a drink and watches the feathered doom's act

*Tries to defend himself, but runs out of the bar with several cuts and bruises*

Ow.

*peers round doorframe*

Is it safe to come back in?

I think so...

*watches with interest as the feathered doom waits above the door to grab the next person who enters*

*it squirms and churns and twirls, looking exactly like nothing in particular*
*it launches a feather toward the bar, which fall to the ground as a decoy*



*wearing a hooded coat, with all of the face except the eyes dark, sips some dark liquid*
*mysteriously*

*the barmaid stands polishing glasses looking bemused*

will anyone care for a bevrage?

*raises his hand*

*hic*
ovah heyre, ma'm..

*walks in in defiance of feathery doom, sees that there is no feathery doom to worry about, sits down*


I would like a glass of iced water with a lemon wedge

*walks back in with considerably more confidence*

Yes please, I'd like some with a .

And I'll have the usual.

Coren: I here yur bartenders rarely last very long. Do you need a new one at the moment? If you don't I can arrange it so that it is such.

Coren: Oops, that's 'hear your'.

[barmaid]
*hands lightspeed a and a *
*slides godben his usual*
oh yes there are meny openings for staff,

Coren: *goes behind bar* How can I help you?

well i suppose you should find out how everything here works,
can you cook?

Coren: Depends what you want me to cook.

well anything which the customer wishes,
from rat burgers to salid
from perfect suchi to pizza
from anchovies to blowfish...

Coren: Okay... I can learn very fast.