h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Ive been working in the lab as a scientist. Im in no rush for yall to add a dept. I simply intended to put the idea out there. Yall can decide when's best to do it, thats why yall are the movers and shakers here. Is the TA still independent and active? or has the Evil Army taken them over? Im considering a contract...

I think the TA is being rejigged and made afresh.

Consider away Make sure it can take place somewhere we already have though. Contracts that have to go outside the article tend to fail rather because not everyone knows about them.
It might be an idea to wait until after the big job so that we know exactly who's taking part...Im not entirely sure. Im currently in communications with our potential employers. They're rather distressed. The details shall become clear tomorrow I hope. They're very important customers.

*sits and plots in the midst of the night whilst the rest of England sleeps*

ok. So the TA is still standing? good good. I had gotten the impession that we in the TA had been taken over while I was way away. My potential contract was on enemies of the TA, aka the evil army...


plot away

*a knock is heard at the door and a certain amount of ingrtiating silence follows*

*waits*
*waits a bit more*
*waits another five minetes just to be certin*
*sips a glass of *

Come In...

*Four thin, tall men in suits enter. They are all carrying briefcases and wearing glasses. There is a slimy air about them*

Are you the...mistress of the assassins guild? If you aren't could we please talk to her? This is a matter of utmost sensitivity

I am the current mistress of the Assassins guild...
how may you be of assistence to us?

*men approach desk*

We...that is our clients...would like to take out a contract. However we must have your clear assurance that the contract will be carried out with discretion and professionalism. We can pay very well.

with discretion and professionalism? Of course there will be discretion and professionalism, what do you take us for? common killers? uncivalised maurauders... I think not!
yes you shall pay very well, because there are people who say life is cheep... yes, that it may be in todays world... but death is going to be very expensive, we know the value of a life, and were not beond charging for it,
never mind handfulls of silver its lapfulls of gold or nothing!

*lead lawyer dry washes hands*

Im glad we have an agreement. Now...this contract. On a certain night a certain man, known to you as Mr Big. will be landing on the local beach in his private yacht. He will be met on the clifftops by his cousin. Both these men are very important people *significant stare*. Im sure you understand.
Mr Big, will be bringing with him, a number of international mercenaries, a core of militia loyal to him, and a chemist. He will also be bringing a sample of a virus. This virus has the capabilities of wiping out a large number of people so I need not stress to you the delicacy with which this must be handled.
Unfortunately for a number of people, Mr Big has been peddling his virus around our...community...offering it for sale. He has then been selling a sample of it, leaving, and then having the purchaser killed. He then regains his virus sample, and has the money in hand. This is becoming inconvenient for our clients.

Our employers would like you to take care of Mr Big.
You must also recover the virus and come up with an antidote.
It would also be highly preferable for the chemist to be alive...this will be useful in the construction of an antidote.

Aer you ammenable to this contract? Do you have the capibilities and man power?
You may of course set your own price once you have all the information you require.

*looks slimy*

We will be able to give you any details necessary

Very well,
we have the people with the expertese,
I only hope you have enough gold to pay us

*takes out a peace of partchment and writes up the details of the contract on "Mr Big" then offers the quill to the lawyers*

Sign the contract please

*each lawyer stares at the quill before reaching into his inner suit pocket, pulling out a silver fountain pen and unscrewing the cap.
Each lawyer signs the parchment*

We shall be at your disposal for any information you may need. I am sure our employers, now also yours, will be most grateful.

*glares at the lawyers*
Sign with the quill
it is most important you sign with the quill
you dont sign with the quill i will stick your fountin pens somewhere very uncomfortable!

I have no employers.. this is my guild... you will submit and sign with the quill or...
your employers shall know about it!

*lead lawyer raises an eyebrow at you*

We shall not argue about this, however I assure you my employers will hear about this.

*resigns with quill*

*smiles*
good tell them... if they come in person they shall know that they dont need a pen

*puts the contract in a drawer before they care to examen it and takes her quill back puting it in a safe place*

thank you for doing business with the assassins guild, if you care to look out our protection scheems then please do so, otherwise you have one hour to leave the premisis before people notice your here

*lawyers exchange glances and leave.

One can be overheard saying he needs to get a new job*

*snaps her fingers*
*a duck runs forwards*

Ensure they leave the building alive...
after that its there own fault if they get hurt...

*the duck runs off*

*wanders in adjusting uniform and doing hair*

Everything alright?

oh theres a contract...

something to do with a crimelord and a virus...

How much do we get?