h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Wanders in*
I'll have me a pint of finest 'large'

How's all?

welcome back uncle Alex. a pint of the finest how was your day?

Malo

*Supps geedily upon his pint of 'large'

My day has been quiet... but not at all bad

And yours barman?

hmm any point in me be subscribed to this conversation??? i wonder.....

i'll have a with ya alex..lol my days been ok, not as eventfull as i would of thought

Oh yes do expand...

*Buy's the barman an .../*

will do as soon as i have the finances lol, the builders cost a mint on h2g2
another cider

Malo

No cider for me thanks... Time for some Tequila

Totty,

you'd better stay subscribed totty! thought you and me would go on the pish tonight, get hammered and rip into the english lmao besides the landlords hired you as a stripper..i think the customers will be expecting there moneys worth tickets wernt cheap!!!

here hope that moody landlord dont bar us though lol i was gonna work here too but i heard was gonna be a barman! that! he'd do my bleeding head in!!! lol

tell you what tots for a place thats recently opened dont think much of the decor, what about you? must be the landlord (whispers) no taste pmsl

well ive had a few already so let me go to the bar and be nice to moodymalo see if he'll give us a few on the house lol





Malo,

good evening my good man LANDLORD i say could us girls have a vodka and lemonade (ice and a slice) and a morgans spiced please? on the house naturally seeing as this is your opening week and us girls are so looking forward to working here (provided the working conditions + pay are right) i must say i couldnt help but notice what splendid decoration you have here..my good man what exceptional taste you have oh and get a pint of whatever Uncle Alex is drinking




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trots back to mine and tottys table..that should keep him happy
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Totty,
cor! think hes got a face on him tonight, not stopping in this dump unless they turn the jukebox up..have you been in the folders? very friendly in there lol
uh oh think we might have to do a runner, the landlords itching to come over and sit at our table lol

hello who in gods name let you in here?

i heard what you was saying to toots just now, i would slate the irish but would be wasting my time cos you been a blond bimbo n an irish one at that your double dence

totty can work here anytime, she did me a preview of what shes capable of n was great you how ever.... have by the look of it had your day longggggg ago lmao,

n dont you requinise the decore i have used in here? it's based on your place, i went to that discount wallpaper shope you use as for getting you a free drink.. ermmmm looks like you had a few tomany already, had a hard day did we? get off your settee today n put your keyboard down for a few hours eh?lmaopmp well it would of cooled the batterys down if nothing else,


well you like the folders better than the boars head then? heard they barred ya, cant hold your tounge, but what woman can eh? well as your barred from the folders best you stay here then hey. double price for your drinks tho shows how pissed you are already.. the dukebox aint comingtill bluesnoes gets back he's gone to fetch it enjoy your drink any of your lip n your out


haha dont swing your at me your to to hit anything

Malo

pmslmfao you bch lol

you did! you give us the keys and you call me blonde!

you wouldnt slate the irish you english else id blow you up &#214 kaboom! lmao

if you want Haggis working here you best put the wages up BIG time and stop scowling! its not just the customers your scaring tottys off now too lol and look at Uncle Alex there barely opens his mouth..stop staring at him hes payed for his pint hasnt he?!?!!

and as for my age sunshine i look dam good for 371 yrs.. still younger than you ya miserable uncultured uncouth old fart

you must be thinking of someone elses decor i dont shop in discount stores perlease lol besides i dont have wallpaper i prefer paint..and a few oils scattered for effect not too many mind..very classy where as this place..BNQ january sales? very tacky..you need someone here with an eye for art someone of exceptional taste someone like moi!

me? barred? in a pub? hah hah hahah you cant be serious? what do you think this is? LD? pmsl
havnt been barred in the folders and i am certainly not ped! a lady does not swing her really! lol

hope you didnt give the money for the jukebox? you fool! hes msgd me said hes come into an unexpected windfall and gone on holiday! pmsl

btw stinks of in here aswell!!!!! lmao

i know you wouldnt swing your at me me it would fall apart as you swing it lmao.

i gave bluenose a bout £500 (english) pounds for a dukebox n your telling me he's gon on holiday with it? the barefaced cheek of him will deal with him wen he returns


funny you should say you can smell piss, cos wen i came closer to you it got stronger (sniff sniff) its that minging cloak your wearing you like your cats enit? lmao@u

BNQ diy store to get this place looking this good i dont think so, better than that 25p a roll you get from the fire damaged store lol

whats l/d wen its at home is that your old haunt>? bet you was thrown out more times than you care to remember, i know your 371 but god you look a whole century older hahaha now now granny dont get lifting your at me again you might fall n break hip lol hahahaha


here sing this if you can see it you sod lol

When boyhood's fire was in my blood
I read of ancient freemen
Of Greece and Rome, who bravely stood
Three hundred men and three men
And then I prayed I yet might see
Our fetters rent in twain
And Ireland long a province, be
A nation once again

Chorus
A nation once again
A nation once again
And Ireland long a province, be
A nation once again

So from the time through wildest woe
That hope has shone a far light
Nor could love brightest summer glow
Outshine that solemn starlight
It seemed to watch above my head
In forum, field and fane
It's angle voice rang round my bed
A nation once again

So as I grew from boy to man
I bent me to that bidding-
The spirit of each selfish plan
And cruel passions ridding
For thus, I hoped some day to aid-
Oh, can such hope be vain?
When my dear country shall be made
A nation once again

Malo

why you sloppy jonnyboy lmfbopmp ere wanna pint ,,if ya do ,,tuff titty am skint,,,,you go ,,by the way stop singin its sounds shite,,,ohhhh hang on it the tv,,

Are you lot in here this looks like a right rough place to belmao

..Angel..

in hell he speaks lmao you pissed or something
i wasnt singing that song the was, she sounded like a cat been killed, lmaopmp, think shes gon to the bogs to spew up shes had a skin full ya know, watch her wen she comes out with her tatty she's deadly with it lol, a bag snatcher tried to pass her a new one but she threw it back at him. so niel what you been upto besides cybering that

Malo

This realy is not the type of place one is used of useing. so down market for ones good self lmaopmsl
Think one best go find a more classier pub with clean glasses

well well well you might be an english but you can cut and paste a good Irish song! i almost wish i was and id sing it lol

that smell of isnt me you cheeky bch! thought that was your aftershave lmfao


stop waving that at me its not mine its awol

is the awols? hmmmmmm im not even gonna ask, but pink does go with that yellow dress he has on, was it one of your old ones i didnt cut n past that irish crap it came strait from the heart did that lol, my aftershave smeels great it still dont over power the stench of piss coming from you its worst wen your sat down with your legs open so why dont you shut them a lil might help lmao...

Malo

midnight,

yes Awol and Malo are im not lol


what are you doing in this dive? its a bit rough in here for a posh bird innit? lol




Malo,

liar! i never sang it you did and badly at that but its the thought that counts
oh and me and the Awol DO NOT cyber that would be Awol and Boriyani your on about..sat there now wearing skirts! Awols got a yellow 1 on down to his ankles (t.g) cant see his skinny little legs and Boriyanis in the pink lycra mini boy! does that need a wax!!!!! lol







EVERYONE/WHOEVER
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im offski's now need some fresh air..the smell of i mean Malos aftershave is making my eyes water!!! lol SHOUTS = Byeeeeeeeeeeeee

you ok there uncle alex? can i get you anything? yeah yeah that is a bit loud i know sorry she woke you up

what you say alex? oh that piss smell?
that will be that shes 371 years old n always smelt like that lmao
Malo