h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*AA5's ship bursts out of hyperspace into orbit around the planet Mobius. He glances out the window and looks below*

AA5-Hoefully we were able to shake any pursuers. Regardless, there you have it! One of the most legendary planets in the Galaxy, with countless different versions of it within the same dimension. They're all connected through a weird "Cosmic Interstate", or something. Regardless, the maps call this place "Mobius SatAM/Archie" for some reason known only to the map makers.

Now, I've set the computers to scan for the legendary Chaos Emeralds. This planet has, in theory, countless chaos emeralds. However, to truly get this thing up to full power we'll need one of The Seven Chaos Emeralds, the most powerful ones.

We'll have to be careful, though. This planet is crawling with power-mad supervillains that I've never had the chance to meet. We wouldn't want to run afoul of Dr. Robotnik, Mamoth Mogul....or worse yet, Enerjak! *Shudder* We should probably also avoid the super heroes of this world. Too many really skilled beings due to the small wars that have plagued this planet for well over twenty years now.

[Yar retains Force Stealth, grinning widely. This may have something to do with the fact that he doesn't need to ask politely anymore. Regardless, he remains invisible.]

*AA5's computer beeps*


AA5-Aha! Located three already. One is on some sort of floating island. The other is at the bottom of an ocean conveniently near what appears to be an oil rig. The last is in a jungle. Any preferences for which to find first, Kalia?

*An invisible ship doesn't appear. But a close observer might notice a new bit of string and some breadcrumbs entering orbit.*

[And somewhere in the universe, a helicopter exists.]

[Kalia] Island? Did you say island? I was on an island before, and it was fun...

*Kalia looks thoughtful for a bit, then pulls a cowrie-shell necklace out of her pocket and puts it on. She then turns to AA5 with a hopeful grin.*

[Kalia] Canwegototheisland, pleasepleasepleaseplease...?

AA5-Okay! To the island we go.

*AA5 enters the coordinates, and instructs the ship to land in a small, secluded shrove of trees near the perimiter of the island*

AA5-Now then, we need to be very careful. If my map data is correct, this island is one of the more dangerous locales on the planet. For one thing, flying through the air has a few potential risks in the event that its source of power ever goes....so don't touch the source of power....second, there's apparently a long history of "Guardians" who slavishly protect the island from the outside world. So when we land, we need to ensure that we don't draw any attention to ourselves.

[Yar makes an attempt to search for the Guardian using the Force, grinning inwardly, and still maintaining the Force Stealth.]

*Yar is surprisingly incapable of following through. Not only can't he sense the Guardian, he also can't not sense the Guardian. Most of the rest of this island can be sensed, but there are also large sections where not a thing can be sensed*

[Yar grins, and sends a message off to Elbert.]

*Oreo watches the ship land and takes careful note of its location. He puts the Millenium Teapot on auto-brew and walks over to SLR.*

Have you got to Floyd yet?

*The ship continues to orbit, trailing string and breadcrumbs.*

*AA5 activates the battle functions on his super suit, stands, and walks towards the ship's exit ramp*

AA5-Kalia, you stay and guard the ship. The last thing that we want is for one of the locals to leave us without a ride home.

*SLR looks up from the screen*

SLR-I think I died....something about a disease....

[Yar uses Force Stealth to slip out right after Affy5, then -- with some Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon-esque maneuvers -- he jumps over the ship and lands on the ground in the opposite side of the ship.]

*Two eyes briefly flicker into existence from behind some bushes. They'd initially been interested in the ship, but Yar seems much more interesting now....*

*Meanwhile, AA5 activates his tracking sensors and heads in the general direction of the emerald*

[Yar doesn't seem to notice the eyes. He does, however, start walking in a course that will take him right next to said bushes.]

*A jet of flame shoots out from the bushes at Yar*

[Yar does a ridiculous jumping-straight-up-into-the-air-and-flipping-sideways thing when he /could/ have just thrown himself to the side.]

[Yar] Now, now, there's no cause for that sort of thing. I'm only here because I heard the captain of that ship saying he wanted to conquer the universe, and was going to start by stealing Chaos Emeralds, and I want to stop him. So don't go flaming /me/.

*Kalia notices a figure leaping up into the air, then hears a voice. She looks around confusedly. She looks at the ship.*

[Kalia] Affy TOLD me to guard this, but....

*She looks toward where the figure was. Shrugging, she saunters off in that direction.*

Meanwhile, I'm thinking: "Let's see ... who do we know who sneaks around and shoots fire? Hmm ..."

I've got an idea of who it is ... I'll be interested in finding out if I'm right.

Well, assuming that you've ever followed the Floating Island stories from the Archie sonicverse....I can't see how you can possibly not know this one.


*Yar hears a voice but can't quite pin down where it's coming from*

Voice-I don't see what you're complaining about. I missed, didn't I? Besides, as the Guardian generally doesn't differentiate between visiting heroes and visiting villains, I'd welcome a little extra training if I were in your shoes. Let's see how quick you are.

*And with that, a trap door opens beneath Yar's feet*