Male or Female?

You might not have known this, but a lot of non-living objects are actually either male or female. Here are some examples:

FREEZER BAGS:

They are male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.

PHOTOCOPIERS:

These are female, because once turned off; it takes a
while to warm them up again. They are an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can also wreak havoc if you push the wrong Buttons.

TYRES:

Tyres are male, because they go bald easily and are often over inflated

HOT AIR BALLOONS:

Also a male object, because to get them to go
anywhere, you have to light a fire under their butt.

SPONGES:

These are female, because they are soft, squeezable and retain water.

WEB PAGES:

Female, because they're constantly being looked at and frequently
getting hit on.

TRAINS:

Definitely male, because they always use the same old lines for
picking up people.

EGG TIMERS:

Egg timers are female because, over time, all the weight
shifts to the bottom.

HAMMERS:

Male, because in the last 5,000 years, they've hardly changed at
all, and are occasionally handy to have around.

THE REMOTE CONTROL:

Female. Ha! You probably thought it would be male,but consider this:

It easily gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know which buttons to push, he just keeps trying

Are Computers Male or Female?

A Spanish Teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine. 'House' for instance, is feminine: 'la casa.'
'Pencil,' however, is masculine: 'el lapiz.'

A student asked, 'What gender is 'computer'?'

Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether computer' should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.

The men's group decided that 'computer' should definitely be of the feminine gender ('la computadora'), because:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;
3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine ('el computador'), because:

1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;
2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;
3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.

Men Are Like...

1. Men are like Laxatives - They irritate the crap out of you.
2. Men are like Bananas - The older they get, the less firm they are.
3. Men are like Weather - Nothing can be done to change them.
4. Men are like Blenders - You need One, but you're not quite sure why.
5. Men are like Chocolate Bars - Sweet, smooth and they usually head right for your hips.
6. Men are like Adverts - You can't believe a word they say.
7. Men are like Department Stores - Their clothes are always 1/2 off.
8. Men are like Government Bonds - They take soooooooo long to mature.
9. Men are like Mascara - They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
10. Men are like Popcorn - They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
11. Men are like Lava Lamps - Fun to look at, but not very bright.
12. Men are like Parking Spots - All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.