h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I'm actually quite happy at the sudden arrival of Mr Cypher for exactly the same reasons. In the previous posting (from months ago) when I said I was giving up cutting for good this time, surprisingly (so far) I was right. Reading this article again actually cheered me up because it reminded me of that acheivement. I hope that my earlier posting helps other people in the same situation because it's very hard to describe exactly how to help yourself. I think everyone has to find their own way out. If you can accept the insignificance of all your actions in the course of your life while simultaniously accepting your own importance to others around you (even if it doesn't seem that way now, one day it will) then it's a good start. Even realising that you are not the only person to feel this way are that many people have been through this and back safely is major encouragement for sorting your life out. It's easy to idolise people like Kurt Cobain and Richie Edwards as they were tortured genuises but no matter how much you respect such figures you must accept that they FAILED to save themselves and that is nothing to be proud of. Better idols are those that have plunged through depths of despair but returned intact and in control.

Thankyou. I've said my piece. I'll give someone else a go now.

<returns-hugs>

*s to all*

*lurks friendlily in a corner*

A friend of mine from years ago used to "self-harm". I'm not sure how genuine it was as he was a Manic Street Preachers fan (Richey Edwards, who disappeared in 1995 and who wrote lyrics and played guitar for the group used to cut himself. My friend idolised him a bit and people often copy their idols). He was quite happy to talk about it to us. On one memorably unpleasant occasion he showed us the cuts on his arm almost immediately after they'd been inflicted

I don't quite understand the logic of people cutting themselves or whatever. Are people who do it unhappy about it and want to stop or do they regard it as like a of pastime? I'm not being sarcastic or anything, I'm generally interested.

I'd said something, so much so that A) I can't remember all of it to re-post (I tend to waffle my way all round a point) and B)My fingers were starting to feel I had rsi.

Does anyone know if you're allowed to give blood (as in as a proper donor) if you self harm or is it like if you've been pierced or tattooed and you have to wait a year.

Can you remember the point, though Lou ?

I don't know... I'd love to give blood (because my dad had lukaemia), but I don't know if they'd stop me because I Si'd. Certainly, I'm sure most people wouldn't want to say anything about it. Not because they might not be allowed to donate blood, but just... well, a lot of people are ashamed of it, or fearful that they will get caught. *shrug*


Zagreb -

SI is a coping mechanism: just like some people will comfort eat when they feel bad, some will cry, some will write poetry, some will drink alcohol or take drugs - SI helps a person feel better.
There are loads and loads of reasons why people will use SI as opposed to any of the above or other coping mechanism I haven't said.
Examples of these are things like...
- self-hate, low self-esteem, low sense of worth. The feeling that one is "bad" and must be punished for something one has done.
- self-disgust. Ties in with the above, but I mean this one as a result of abuse or rape. This is quite common.
- disorders such as BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) or PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder)
... but these are just broad examples. I do not say that every single person who SI's fits into one of these categories. I know for a fact that when I SI'd, I'd even do it if I was in a really good mood.

Of course then there is the issue of doing it for attention. But attention of what sort?
- The person might want the world to know that they are upset, or the degree of their upsetness. They want people to notice that they are feeling bad and want help.
- Something is going on in the person's life that needs to be eradicated (abuse?) but the person is too afraid to address it themselves.
- The person wants to be "different" and look "weird" and wants attention of that sort.
- The person does it because of badly chosen rolemodels such as Richey James Edwards, Marilyn Manson, people they know who have/do SI, etc.

For those who use SI as a coping device, there are many things that can "trigger" them into cutting/etc, such as:
- upsetting experiences.
- flashbacks of upsetting experiences.
- the sight of a wound.
- description of SI.
- description of a wound.
- bad days.
- stress.
- insults.
- good experiences.
- boredom.
... many, many things. This is why you will see "trigger warnings" on any websites about SI - and why you should be careful.

With regard to whether it is a pass-time or not: it can be. See above - boredom can be a cause. SI can make time go by faster.

Please - anyone - if I'm wrong - correct me.

- Poet.

It was basically along the lines of the "this is the least damage I can do to myself" quote, only without the eloquence of the quote or the knowledge of the quoter. Unless you go too far, which by most accounts defeats the 'object' of self harm what damage does it do to anyone. Sure you may develop a network of scars but most people keep them hidden and compared to the alternative that could happen if you dont find a way to cope scars are nothing. Though what I say is only really relevant to me as most harmers tend to have their own personal methods and some could go too far or out of control more easily than others

Incidentally, it's SI awareness day on 1st March.
Myself, I wonder where the line is between SI and masochism. Ideas?

The way I see it a masochist enjoys the pain whereas a self harmer is more aware it is a form of relief for some other problem (though I'm not for one second saying masochists dont have some kind of underlying psychological/emotional problem).
Self harm, to me, feels almost like sighing. Its just it comes from the heart (metaphorically and literally), not just the lungs.
Its difficult to answer that question directly as all self harm is a form of masochism, whether its someone who cant resist picking at scabs, someone who cuts when sad/stressed or someone who gets sexual thrills from it. Though I'm not sure that doesnt contradict what I said at the start of this posting

masochism to me implies someone else hurting you and you enjoying that.

Um... yeah... *Is new here so isn't quite sure if this attempt is correct or even if it's going to work. Doesn't know what masochism or many of the other inteligent-sounding terms mean, but does know a thing or two about self-"injury"* OK, anyways, here's my take on it. I don't know about the rest of you who have SI'ed, your reasons, your reactions, your meathods, but I do know about my own experience with... the topic... and I can tell you this: SI'ing might not be viewed as injury to the person who's doing/done it. Because, like I said, I don't know about the experiences of the SIers disgussing here, but in my experience I didn't/don't believe I'm hurting myself. What I mean to say is... it doesn't... hurt. Cutting/burning sort of... distances me from other things... *Shrugs*


~Storm Fletcher (Yeah, another messed up Newbie)
I'm no Van Gough, but it's all good...

calling SI unhealthy is complicated. sure its not nice. it hardly a fun hobby.

but for everybody i know who is a selfinjurer (including myself) it is not the destructive behaviour that is the problem.

we all are in situations, mental or otherwise, that only SIing can make bearable.

these situation may not seem that terrible to others and because selfinjury is obvious and physical it is easy for people to point at cuts and say 'there. that is the problem'

but that is not the case. it is a survival strategy. and it works. its not perfect and can become a longterm problem.

but its the only reason i am still alive

Lots of seemingly innocuous things which we get up to on a regular basis, like yawning for instance, produce chemical changes in the body extremely similar to those of addictive drugs.. the oxygen rush caused by yawning, I believe, is what makes the habit so catching. Lots of repeated behaviour mimics the pattern of behaviour witnessed when people selfharm.

Many extremely addictive drugs (like heroin, for instance) are branded in just the same sort of socially taboo'd way as selfharming and ultimately, it's symptomatic of the same thing. When you're taught about heroin users, you're taught about the badness. You're taught that it's disgusting, and dangerous, and depraved. That users of drugs like it are broken to the degree to which they don't form real people, and that anyone who wants to consider themselves a person should stay away from it at all costs. If you disagree, consider: would you be prepared to tell your grandmother in good faith that you were a heroin user?

The point is, there ARE reasons people take heroin, and there are reasons that people selfharm. They don't make peoples' actions justified, and they don't make said actions 'good'. However, there are reasons for them, and for some people, routes of escape such as selfharm, resorting to drugs such as heroin, alcohol, and cannabis (resorted to by many people I know in similar ways as alcoholics, although in a far more socially grey manner) do provide people some respite, for the most part. The populous don't like to acknowledge that problems which would cause behaviour like this should exist, or if they do, then people are just seen as 'broken', to be fixed by cocktails of drugs, psychiatrists, spells in hospital, et al.

What sticks for you is what sticks to you; if alcohol seems to you to numb your problems in a way which you want to happen again, you may drink more. and if you drink more, "you're an alcoholic". You've found a way which to some degree of justification for you, solves - or temporarily alleviates - your problems. For the junkie, sitting in a room smelling of piss and sticking a warm needle in your arm can seem like paradise. (Coincidentally, I was talking about this precise thing with several ex-users last night) It's a case of taking the rough with the smooth, and yet another way in which humanity is hugely, darkly, and very sadly ironic.

Self-destructivity, by definition, is not something which is in the least bit good in itself - far from it. (I think I have the necessary credentials - if they can be called such - to say this, from first hand experience in myself, and others, in most of the patterns of behaviour mentioned above..). Whether it's necessary or not is up for debate, but there are certainly reasons for people to engage in behaviour like this, causing 'self-destructive' behaviour as a sideeffect of that which alleviates suffering. Or has simply just become force of habit.

Perhaps the saddest thing is that such behaviour should even have to be thought of as necessary, let alone be necessary.

- Njan

I havent read all the back log on this conversation thread so will keep my comments minimal for fear of repeating points already mentioned.
Self harming - in whatever form - has existed since time began and will continue to exist unless human beings stop thinking or feeling anything at all. It is also not unique to the human race. Other species do it too. Proof of this is actually sitting on my couch, washing his long white whiskers, at the moment , and he is not the only one i have met.
Whilst SI will mostly be viewed negatively (and by that i mean the reason for feeling the need to do it is negatively based) it is also worth noting that it can actually be a 'positive' negative tool. Dont scream in horror! When faced with a crisis, being able to SI can be enough of a help to prevent something worse happening - such as a suicide attempt. A pressure cooker with a valve closed will explode, but let off that little bit of steam (SI) and disaster is averted. Admittedly, there are many other and much safer (not to mention more socially acceptable) ways of doing it, but it takes time to be able to 'learn' to get the same feeling and/or relief from other ways.
Not as minimal as i meant but my thoughts anyway. BTW if anyone is interested in the story then drop by my space and leave me a message and i will tell all I might even get round to doing a guide entry on it...some day........

i self harm

im not proud of it but then again im not ashamed! i am definately not sick tho! i have been predicted at least 5 A*s at gcse next year and i am a candidate be selected 2 go 2 oxford university 4 a tester day next month! i am quite mature 4 my age 2 im not sum mindeless likkle teenage girl worried bout how she looks and about the lads! i self harm beacuse im addicted i had a very tough childhood and im just expressin my anger i know its not healthy but then ill get over this with a few fading lines on my skin unlike my friends who smoke and will increase there chances of cancer which is the healtier option???

congrats on stopping!

I reolize I'm commenting on an ancient thread, but...

Rather than declaring something just "sick", it's far more constructive look at what causes a behavior and address the real sickness, rather than a just symptom. Self-Injurers have extremely low self-esteem and need to learn better ways of dealing with anxiety, anger and self-loathing. Calling self-injurers sick is most likely to just make them feel guilty and hate themselves all the more, which just triggers more secret injuries.

I absolutley agree. I saw a tv report (BBC - i think!)last week that said 1 in 10 school children have SI'd. Now, some of those will pass through it as they learn new ways to cope with their distress whilst others will continue to SI and develop other 'coping mechanisms' such as ED's, alcohol abuse and behavioural problems (ie depression, suicidal tendencies, anti social behaviour etc etc etc)
But the thing that struck me was that SI has become one of the first things kids are turning to now, as opposed to, i dunno, fighting, truanting etc. It is the almost the 'norm' now to do it when distressed. That is scary.

PS so what if it is an ancient thread - lets wake it up. I have met 4 (now 5) people in the last month on h2g2 that SI. As you say it is hidden but when you look - there are alot of people out there that do it. there was an article in peer review last week that started a debate on it. i will find the article....

A1004833 - read the peer review threads...

I have been SIing now for about 22 months, and I dont feel I am sick.
People that can`t accept it as an addiction in my experience have always probably by been addicted to something(drugs, drink). I think there just closed minds, cos they don`tn`t do it you shouldn`t. I don`t know i`m just rambling now. The reason I posted was I was wondering if anyone knows of anything we could buy to cover our scars as I have 8 really dark scars on my wrist (6 of them are about 10 week old and showing no signs of fading, 2 about 1 month old) and I am am really wanting to go back to work but don`t want to have to to explain these scars to people, because as we all have said some people just think were sick.

On my support group - http://groups.msn.com/LastExitForTheLost

I have a page on SI. At the bottom are a coupl of links to cover up stuff. http://groups.msn.com/LastExitForTheLost/selfharm1.msnw

Hope that helps

Mort