h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I think what that person wrote about cats was unfair. If he or she decided to focus on the negitive aspects of this animal, it would certainly be unfair not to mention the positive things. If you feel the same way about this then please post a message disscusing this matter.

It looks to me as though the people who wrote this article probably have cats. It sounds like the voices of bitter-sweet experience. They did mention that they're cute and cuddly (and can change instantly). It fits in neatly with my experience of cats. I'm fond of them too.

What I recognise here is humour. A good sense of humour is probably vital if you have cats.

I had an email from one of my friends yesterday, saying among other things one of her cats had sadly died. It was the top cat so now the next cat down in the chain of command had started spraying all over the place - including her computer and attacking the other cats and dogs. The other cats saw fit to join in. Now she clearly adores these "monsters" and her complaint was full of humour. It's allowed. You can love them even though they drive you nuts and the best way to deal with that paradox is to apply a little humour.

I must say I found the article amusing, but solely because of its truth.

However, the best part of bathing a cat was left out:

Trying to dry the cat.

Every cat I've ever had has been utterly fascinated and deathly afraid of that nifty, loud invention called the blow-drier.

Of course, letting a cat air-dry is better for your skin, but not very good for the cat, and sometimes the smell of your house. Plus, as cruel as it may sound, it's horribly amusing (if your cat doesn't have a weak heart, anyway) to try blow-drying a cat. I recommend the following rules:

1) Under NO condition use a microwave, clothes drier, or similar device. One should think this was common sense, but people scare me.

2) Choose a blow-drier that works on hair. The level of noise should be directly proportional to how much you love (watching) your cat (squirm).

3) Use a laundry basket. You know, the plastic sort with all the holes in the side. The ones that break after about three years of usage, but it's okay because they're cheap enough to break after three years of usage. Trap the cat UNDER the laundry basket, and blow-dry!

4) Understand that this isn't really cruelty, because letting your cat get sick is cruelty. However, because this is good for the cat if you washed him/her, it's completely reasonable and fair for you to enjoy and even laugh at your cat's reaction to the blow-drier.


~Sirona

Now can anyone tell me what to do about cats urinating/spraying all over the house? We have two cats who do that on the stove, behind the microwave oven and in other extremly inconvenient places. At the moment we cover the entire kitchen with newspapers every night! Is there a better way?

<>

They're usually naturally inclined to use the pan. Make sure you have a cat pan, it's *clean* (they won't use it if it's not), and it's got a good healthy amount of sand or cat litter in it. Make sure the cats know where it is, and can reach it whenever they need to do their business.

If they're not fixed, you might want to do that. That did wonders for one of my cats.

Another idea is, when they do their naughty thing, take them, hold their nose in it, and tap them gently on the nose. You don't want to hurt them, but you want them to realise that this is a *bad* thing they're doing. Then, you take them over and drop them into the pan, so they know. Do this every time they mess something up.

Plus, if none of this works, the cat might have a Urinary Tract Infection. Check with the vet.

~Sirona

You mean a cat box? We have one, but the cats don't like it. I think we'll just encourage them a bit more. They are all fixed. A problem is that we don't know which cat it is that does it! We've seen two cats urinate in the house, but if we don't know which one committed which particular crime we might be sticking the wrong one's nose in the wrong stuff! Also one of the cats did indeed have a urinary tract infection and we've been giving her pills. We'll see what happens next. Thanks!

Get a Dog.

Red

I used to like cats. I'd like to continue to like them but I might need a bit of encouragement. I really love birds. I spend lots of time and effort making little treats for them to eat, trying to find ways to feed them so cats can't get at them and so on. Cat's are experts though. I can't describe the feeling of anger and dismay I feel as I see my garden full of food and feeding devices for birds but not a bird in sight and some neighbourhood cat skulking through the undergrowth on a mission to slaughter all my little friends ... and have a poo in my flowerbeds.

Could somebody please say something soothing to make me feel more warmly towards cats again -- the way I used to.

Yes - our cats learnt to a large extent to leave the birds alone! While ever so very occasionally they still catch one, at the moment you can oftens see them just sitting there watching the birds, totally out in the open where the birds can see them while they feed. With us it helps that we have a large open area of ground where the birds feed and where there isn't hiding places for cats.

Over here we also have a bunch of guineafowl (wild chicken-like birds) who come eating on the lawn. Sometimes our white cat chases them - but as a game! The guineafowl play along with the game, they aren't scared at all! They're big enough to take the cat if he should go too far.

Thanks Grief and Torment! That sounds quite positive. How have you persuaded the little rascals to leave the birds alone though? It would be nice to be able to tell my cat owning (should that be "accommodating") friends. Unfortunately I doubt I'll be able to train other people's cats in my neighbourhood, that have taken to hunting in my garden, but all info that might help preserve the garden birds will be very much appreciated. Some of them are getting rare and (just call me paranoid) I get the impression these are the ones the cats target.