h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Get hold of some nice thick welding Gauntlets, a couple of old thick coats, a couple of pairs of jeans, thick boots, and a motorcycle helmet.

Get the owner or someone the cat trusts to bring the unsuspecting victim (sorry i mean cat) to the shower, throw it in with you and lock the bathroom door, hold cat by scruff of neck and shower it.

The next bit is tricky, in fact it's so tricky it's purely theoretical as, to my knowledge it's never been acomplished.

Somehow you have to get the shampoo onto the cat (wearing welders gauntlets hampers opening the bottle) remember you have a shower running and a cat to keep hold of, you're also sodden and have realized that more clothing should have been warn as your blood is coursing out of several deep gashes in your arms (luckily your in the shower so it's nice and easy to wash away).

It's at this point that someone usually opens the door to see what's happening and a blur of wet fur shoots like lightening out of the room.

People tend to give up at this point. Don't even try it.

Why is it cats are considered clean animals? If I washed myself in my own spit, i'm fairly sure I wouldn't be considered clean. They must have a spin doctor that governments would do anything for.

THIS is the way to wash the cat:

http://www.jjab.com/washthecat.php3

That is really funny.

Thanks for sharing it.

Are you THE Eccentrica Gallumbits?

You know with three thingies and everything?

Anyone attempting to wash a cat should be put in the dryer *spit, hiss*

I know - cats wash themselves, don't they?

And anyone else that happens by.

I agree. Cats wash themselves. Water should only be employed in the process of separating fighting cats (fun, and effective).

On another note, this was on a forum the other day: how to give a cat a pill
http://www.togs.org/forum2/_forum/00000140.htm

love R227790 xxx

And if the pill falls out of the bacon the daft will hunt around on the floor till he finds it and gobbles it up.

Forget washing- try catching feral kittens to get them neutered by the RSPCA. I did and the welding gauntlets didn't prevent him savaging my arm and then as a coupe-de-grace spraying me with cat faeces and urine once I actually caught him.

Remarks from a pet care book I was reading once in my pre-teens:

"Cats usually have no trouble keeping themselves clean enough.

If the cat really needs a bath, it will probably cooperate."




If it really is so bad a case (short of the cat getting caught in an oil spill or something like that), spare yourself the ordeal and just toss it in the swimming pool.