h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

well good for you job!
...by the way did you get my reply to your last email?

No I don't think I did. I may have accidentally deleted which is probably the case but I'm 99.98% certain I didn't see it. I'll see if I can find a way to check my recently deleted emails.

its ok
i'll send annother.

I got it.

Why do you insist on only being online when I'm not, Job?

Grr. Grr I say.

I blame the illusion we call time and continental drift.

ah.. time... quiet a nusience isnt it.
i wish i could speed things up and slow them down at will...
that would be nice...

Yeah. I would bypass adolecence all together!

hmm.. well i'd just get rid of times when i'm sad, of course that could be a large chunk of my life...
and spend an eternity with people i love.

I'm going to start blaming continental drift, now, instead of saying "I blame the parents," like I usually do!

Everyone in our band blames geraint. Whos geraint? Head boy in our school. How he got there we can't work out. Although you should see the competition.

I knocked over a cup of water last night: "Aw Jerms! What happened there man?!" "It was that bloody continental drift again!"

Another good line to use at random times: "I'll give you in a minute!"
The best one I've heard was in a normal conversation, where the word 'metaphor' was used. Instead of a witty comeback, the person they were talking to simply said: "I'll give you a metaphor in a minute!"
Flawless. Random, yet perfectly placed.

I've also heard: "You'll be -ing in hospital by the time I'm finished with you!" which can work quite well... except I keep stuffing it up and saying 'prison' instead of 'hospital', which if you think about it has entirely the opposite meaning.

Quite funny really. I'm gonna have to use the metaphor one more often.

tip toe through the tulips, to the window....

hmmm... its going round in my head. and just that little part.

so how are you all doing then?

I just died in our arms tonight.

Im not too bad thank you.

this is no terror ground, or plave for the race, no broken haearts, white washed lies

glad to hear you're well

You too.

oh, i was having fun putting little bits of songs at the tops

sorry I just couldnt think of any.

all you need is love... de de de de de, all you need is love... de de de de de, all you need is love, love, love is all you need.

oh ok
i'll just continue doing it then....