h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Brke his teeth on the floor

and spat them all into the loo!

(lil old me just don't want to go first!!)


Whenever you're feeling too glum........

Just go running to your mum

She'll fix you up fine
In about half the time

You will just feel numb.

(lil - the rules are: if you write the last line of one limerick, you have to provide the first line of the next one)

should have looked at the rules! Thought I might have seemed pushy!


There was a girl from Kentucky
Who thought she might be so lucky

She gave the dice a kiss

Determined that she could not miss

I wish I could be so plucky



An octegenarian nudist

Who dated a young balloonist

Said "I'm really high
and if you want to know why............

It's on champagne I'm nearly always p****d



There was a little doggie called Blackie

Who was caught smoking wacky backie

He was put in the Pound
where he sh***ed a Hound
And said "you float better on Crackie"


Don't see the point of two threads but might as well join in



A Hermit who lived on Rockall

who of sex said he'd had f**k all

Well, you're out in the Sea
Just use it for P**

better than doing it up against the wall.



Now this next poem has got to be clean
The naughty words will be yiked if seen

There is little risks
If you use asterisks

to replace a vowel
in the t*wel