h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

It's so very large

That its as big as a barge

hanging all the way down to his ankle.

(Best I could do...)(Best I could do...)(Best I could do...)

I'm sorry, I haven't a clue

And I feel like I'm going to spew

So I'm taking some asprin

And drinking some gin

And hope I don't puke on your shoe.

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There once was a vicar named Pryne

Who would polish coins until they shine

He once found a nickle

and bought half a pickle

'Cause a whole pickle costs him a dime.

(That one worked. I think we're back on track)

There was a young lady from Rhodes

who kept remarkable toads

She also liked frogs,

And big hairy dogs

but not timy wet nematodes.

(Worms, fyi)(Worms, fyi)(Worms, fyi)(Worms, fyi)

I'm feeling remarkably chipper

(Typo: timy = tiny)

For a bloke who is wearing a kipper

The smell of this fish

made him appear quite a dish

But it smelt like he'd let loose a ripper

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

An Okapi that called himself Dave