h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

which left the board quite a mess.

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The Gnu was totally puzzled

As to why the rat had been muzzled,
The elephant drugged,
The game board box bugged,

and all of the rum and scotch guzzled


**********************

i find i'm inherently late

And it's something I usually hate

But being on time,

Morning one and all

is never as fine
as completely forgetting the date!

__________________________


When Kylie Minogue was a girl

(What??? She's had a sex change??? )

She wore her long hair in a swirl

With Danii and crew,

They'd paint their nails blue

And their eyelids in mother-of-pearl

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A sex change for Kylie? NOT true!
It's something that she'll never do

Her gender she flaunts
In various haunts

where she goes by the name of "Big Stu"

*****************************************

But when she is just being Kylie

she's happy and cheery and smiley

She'll do your taxes

And send out your faxes.

Her clients esteem her quite highly.

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There's nothing as nice as the Spring

Or the beheading of unplesant kings

Although both induce cleaning

and subsequent preening

On the whole they're different things.

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I had to w*rk all weekend