h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*sea jumps onto lady liberty's leg and starts climbing toward the xenomorph*

*evillene sees sea climbing up toward her and holsters her gun- so not to hit her. she kicks free of gigus's grip and starts climbing as fast as she can*

*Affy surveys the scene. Now that Sea and evillene are both on the statue, Affy sets up the last stages of his plan. Then, he casts the Izyuk spell on himself before jumping out of the top of the Statue, and waving god-bye to the Mewtwos. On the way down, he speaks to Sea*

You're not going to like what I've got up there. It'll definitely reduce the amount of damage that you can do here.

*Affy continues going down, until he is within view of the STUMPED HQ. He hides in the shadows, considering a few possible ways to continue from this juncture*

*sea's eyes narrow. she yells to evillene*

[sea] evillene! affy just bailed! i think it's a trap!

[evillene] in the typical, predictable villanous fashion, i want to see this trap.

[sea] allright. let's go be predictable and assume that there's no way affy could actually defeat us.

*evillene and sea ignore gigus and approach the top of the statue*

*UH, realising he is not doing good decides not to bother, and instead finds a deck chair and begins feeding the pigeons*

*The grape , meanwhile, begins to bounce menacingly*

(has anyone seen the advert? probably not. oh well. your loss)

*Affy waits for Sea and Evillene to reach the top of the statue, and has the Mini-UFO sweep by and catch Gigus in a tractor beam. He then sets the button in his watch, causing the traditional metal bars to seal the exits, and pushes the buttons on the controls that he took with him from the Statue. The statue does a miraculous somersault into space, and will land back in its original place soon. Affy knows that this won't really hinder the progress of Sea and evillene, what with Sea's teleportation abilities, but it's definitely worth seeing the look of mild surprise on their face (thanks to a camera placed aboard the Mini-UFO's hull*

*Mere moments later, a suspicious looking balloon vendor approaches the STUMPED HQ. Before the guards react to their previous orders (Affy doesn't resemble GL after all), Affy puts on a gas mask, and unties a balloon, releasing a strange gas. When the guards wake up, Affy is gone, after having left several balloons in various rooms of the building*

*NYC turns red, steam billows from NYC's ears, NYC's head blows up. The dust settles, and NYC (head and all) tells himself not to kill a guard. Not one guard. Not even maim any of them. He just stalks into the HQ, gathers all the balloons, places all of them in a sound-proof blast-proof air-tight chamber, orders the front door guard into the room, and orders him to pop the balloons one by one. NYC then heads into another sound-proof chamber, and lets loose with a stream of expletives that would make your ears bleed*

[Giguschild] Gosh. I appear to be floating. And I was just about to...ah well, never mind. Wow...this is kind of fun...I can see the whole city from up here! The slums, the docks, the ...uhm...OH MY GOD! It's...it's obscene! It's monstrous! It's...it's...too horrible to describe...........! It's the grape...that intense heat, combined with it's own radioactivity, have caused it to mutate into a 10-foot high Belly! And what's that...it's chasing some guy in Reebok trainers, how odd.

*NYC returns from the sound-proof chamber, much calmer, and stations himself at the front entrance of the HQ. He spies a mini-UFO hovering about, and wonders whether to call military forces. He curses himself for even pausing to think such a thing and within 15 minutes, three F-14 Tomcats are zooming over Queens towards it*

*As the Mini-UFO cloaks and zips into a smog bank at the appearance of several Tomcats flying towards it, a familiar shadow spreads across the city. Another holographic image of Minos Krylma appears in front of NYC*

NYC, it seems you could use a bit of help. Would several thousand gecko warriors and killer rabbits be in order?

I don't know. Will they fall asleep at the first sight of super-heros, like my own idiotic lackeys?

[Giguschild] Aarrgghh! Now I'm flying! Very fast! Through the clouds! Wheee! (Hhmmm...the Belly seems to have chased the man into a shopping center...)

No, I don't hire unionized labor. Well, unless you count the STUMPED supervillains.

*Several smaller space ships come down from the sky, each resembling a very large alligator's head. As killer rabbits and gecko warriors leap out of them, KL motions to the ships*

These are Scuttlers, a kind of space ship that I am using primarily in deep space piracy operations. They are very maneuverable and work well against the larger ships out there. I don't know if they could handle the Mini-UFO mono a mono, but I *do* know that a thousand of them patrolling the skies will most likely do the trick.

*The hologram dissapears as the Draco begins to hover the skies itself. It shoots a teleportation beam at an abnormaly large fruit, just to see if anything will happen*

*an imaciated figures steps from the shadows and surveys the scene*

[deth] are we, and i speak in the 'collective forces of evil' sense of the word, amassing an army to do battle with the forces of good?

*a skeletal hand breaks forth from the ground... NYC stumbles slightly as the ground violently trembles*

*A blackhawk helicopter hovers over the roof of STUMPED HQ, from which 4 Army Rangers and YO quick line down from, the guards have been previously warned of their arrival and does not fire on them. The heilo gains altitude and flies away, and the Rangers take up sniper positions round the building. The Rangers can and do fire at all CHOPPERS personel, any vehicle that comes close to the building and anyone who attempts to enter the building who do not present the proper Identification Code....*

[Mewtwo] }Well, that's nice. They didn't get here.{

[Vekura] {Not yet, anyway. Are we the trap?}

*sea and evillene find themselves face down on the observation deck of the statue of liberty. sea stands up and looks out the window, to find that they are back on ellis island*

[sea] that was quite a ride, don't you think?

[evillene] again! again!

*sea shakes her head and starts down the stairs. evillene follows*

why doesn't sea just teleport, you ask? because it tires her immensely, so she only does it as a last resort. so there. besides, that's no fun. you kick me out, i come back in.... no. i should at least TRY to bust down the door first.

MZnorax: Ha! I am MZnorax! Ruler of the 8th dimension and master of Balgous VI! I have come to wrest your planet from your grasp, puny humans!

UH: You'll have to get past me first, MZnorax! I am Uncle Heavy, defender of Earth and Champion of its peoples! Take this! *fires his pistol at MZnorax*

MZnorax: *catches bullets easliy* Ha! Your puny Earth-weapons are no match for the fearsome power of the Asgroth! You'll have to do better than that! *gets crushed by an eight foot falling xenomorph*

UH: *dusts hands* That saw the end of him! Another victory for Democracy and Liberty against the forces of Evil and Repression!

People of Los angeles: Hurrah for UH! He has saved us from alien invaders! Probably affiliated with STUMPED! Boo for STUMPED! Yay for CHOPPERS!

[OOC] LA????? New York ya mean

People of NY surely?

[People of NY]: Gasp! "A two-legged yellow cat"

[Cat]: Yes, working for STUMPED

[PONY]: All the same to us. Superman, Batman, Godzilla, giant meteorites, alien death rays, we've seen it all.
The top of the Chryssler building must have ostensibly fallen off at least three times...

ohh at least!