h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Tere's no illusion about time! It certainly exists... it's just odd that it can be a miriad of different things depending on how you look at it!

What is Courage????

I do know that time slows in week days and speeds up at the weekends!!!!

You lost your dictionary again?

No, it's a puzzle.

Hmmm... well Courage is a type of bear isn't it????

Or should that be beer?

That one is certainly true... a classic example of how time alters through perception. You're having fun and being very preoccupied at the weekend, not at all thinking about time and then "WHAM" it's over... in the week however you're constantly looking forward to the weekend... time drags as you're thinking about it so much.

THe Feta Zalthanians of Gamma Maxima (No they're not "Them" either) have so much fun that it has been estimated that the entire existance of their 999 year life span passes to them seemingly in the same amount of time it takes to sneeze. The Popflatter Beast of Mondolos III however leads such a dreadfuly dull life however that their mere 59 days of existence seems to last for longer than... say a trip at sub light speeds to your nearest neighbouring galaxy or... say the time it seems to take to listen to an album of Bob Monkhouses greatest hits...

Yes time really is an odd thing.

I guess that depends on whether you thing courage is something you drink that makes you go all wobbly and daft or a great big hairy thing that cold rip your head off... maybe you should check the spelling when Bluebottle finds his dictionary?

You could have a pet snake called courage.

I could also have a pet bird called Courage, but I haven't he's called Rocky...

Saw a film once called Courage Under Fire... it was ok... not brilliant... hmmmm....

Is it a french word?

It's funny that your bird who is named Rocky is not a snake named Courage, because my brother once owned a snake named Rocky who was not a bird named Courage. Quite a strange coincidence, wouldn't you say?

Ahhhh, but did your brothers snake ask for a kissssssssssssssss? My Rocky does...

The world is full of strange co-incidencies... I find... Like my name, Greebo, which is also the name of my other bird... now that is really odd...

Moldy and Skulky, where are you when I need you?

that reminds me of a joke about a parrot named Clarence.

Tell me do... Mr. Washington...

Alright, a burglar breaks into a house in a rather nice neighborhood to pick it clean while the owners are away. He's scampering across the living room, making ready to gather up some loot when he hears a voice from nowhere say "Jesus is watching you". He had made absolutely sure that no one was home, and, looking around quickly to find no one there he put the voice off to nerves. He makes a move to pick up a gold candles stick resting on the mantle peice when he hears the voice again, this time louder: Jesus is watching you! He's beginning to be a little spooked now. He looks around desperatly but there still isn't anyone to be seen. Beginning to think that he should just find something good and leave, he starts off across the room as quick and quietly as he knows how, only to hear the voice one more time, louder: Jesus is Watching You!! He stopps. He turns. There, in a corner, shrouded in darness is: a birdcage. Inside there sits a parrot, watching the burglar with interest. "Did you say that?" he asks. The parrot nods. "Whew!" the burglar says, "you really freaked me out. What's your name, parrot?" "Clarence," the bird replies. "Clarence?!" The burglar laughs, "What a stupid name for a parrot! What kind of _idiot_ named you Clarence?" Clarence looks at the burglar for a moment and responds, "The same kind of idiot that named the rottweiler 'Jesus'".

And just remind me... is the snake that is called Rocky but not a bird called courage one of them or was it the bird named Rocky and not a snake called Courage? And what about Clarance and Jesus... come to think of it maybe the burglar was to....

Aha! The Law of Topic Drift is maintained! (good joke, by the way )

Great joke!!!

Hee Hee, I think I'll add a joke section to my h2g2 page... might make me smile in the morning when I have to get in to work... As long as someone contributes... ~Hint, hint!!!~

Just so long as you give me some sort of nod for bringing the joke to your attention. I'm not sure if Rocky the Snake who was not a bird named Courage is or is not one of THEM, but either way, she (we found out about the "she" when we discovered unfertilized eggs in her terrarium) was released into the wilderness... where my brother tried very hard not to remember that she was most probably eaten immediately by a bird of prey...

So, the bird of prey was one of THEM. That only goes to prove that they're EVERYWHERE!