h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I hereby claim this land for STUMPED!!!!!

good, at least we have one naval base now, I'll get San Fran....

*GL, walking down a commercial street, notices a large crowd laughing outside an electronics store. He goes to investigate. On the TV monitors that can be seen and heard through the window is a woman holding a flag. GL listens as she says:
"I hereby claim this land for STUMPED!!!!!"
GL joins in the laughter. The TV screens switch first to views of laughing policemen and then to the laughing local government officials and then to the laughing commander of the naval base.*

*Affy, meanwhile, is sitting around, waiting for something important to happen*

*unbeknownst to GL, all the people outside the electronics store were actors, paid to stand there and laugh until some innocent bystander showed signs of dissention. GL is immediately swarmed by police officers in riot gear and handcuffed*

*The bogus police are then swarmed by the real police - the ones who were laughing on the TV screen. One police officer speaks to GL:*

I couldn't help but laugh. A single STUMPED member against a whole city. What was she thinking? She did have a nice flag, though .

*sea walks over to the group of men and shoves GL, who falls to the ground*

[sea] come on! i'm tired of you ruining my plans single-postedly! let's fight this out, man to woman.

*sea holds up her fists. the policemen look amused. one moves to stop her, she telepathically knocks them back 50 feet, then looks back at GL*

[sea] get up.

*Gets up and dusts himself off. Picks up his ebony cane with the wolf's head handle from where it dropped.*

Now, I don't much go in for hand-to-hand combat, perferring to fight with my wits instead, but if you insist ...

*Takes off his suit jacket and vest. Rolls up his sleeves. Brandishes his cane like a sword.*

*Affy munches popcorn*

You two could hurt innocent bystanders like that. Hang on...

*Affy pushes a button on his watch. Moments later, the CLI Construction Crew leaves after finishing the Battle Stadium*

Fight in there. The city might not be worth saving if we get into a full-fledged Battle Royal.

*sea narrows her eyes and puts her hands on her hips*

[sea] *quoting Oni* YOU'RE gonna get beat by a GIRL!!!!

*sea raises her fists again and swings at GL*

*GL stands still and takes the punch on his chin*

Hmmmmm. Not bad for a GIRL (as you called yourself). Sorry about the knuckles, there.

Oh dear. You've mussed up your hair. Here, let me fix it.

*GL whips out a lightning fast kick which deftly tucks a strand of hair back behind Sea's ear.*

Now, then. When would you like to start this battle?

*sea screams with rage and tackles GL, trying to strangle him*

[sea] don't you *smack* patronize me *strangle*

*a large silver wolf strolls into the arena and shimmers into a lone man. his eyes are sunken into deep sockets and his cloak is untouched by the wind.*

[deth] i see there seems to be some difficulty in quelling the masses... *he reaches into the fray and pulls GL from the madwoman's grasp, GL's bones crunch hideously as he impacts the wall... deth brushes the dust from himself and holds a gloved hand out to sea* May i help you up fair lady?

*sea takes deth's hand and he helps her up. sea brushes herself off, then looks at deth*

[sea] you know.... /I/ was the one who started that fight. and i wanted to WIN it, too. he's driving me nuts.

I'd just like to say that the previous two posts may be slight infringements of the laws of Continuity that we really should try to uphold. It was nothing serious, but are you *sure* that GL's bones shattered?

--Affy, the annoying pedant

hey, /I/ didn't break continuity. i didn't shatter anyone's bones. all i did was accept the hand in getting up. but anyway, it didn't sound to me like bones shattering, it sounded like glass. yeah, THAT'S it, GLASS shattering. GL must have flown into a window.
*decides not to bring up some past continuity infringements on the part of certain heroes*

~The sleekest ship in the galaxy hovers over the feild of battle, and lands. It is so sleek and black that light actually bends and warps around it. The only break in it's blackness is a red stripe running horizontally across it's sides. A door appears out of nowhere in the side of the ship, and a tall, dark figure, long absent from this planet, steps out and surveys the scene~

Hello Affy, GL, and SEA. Angelo Deth, I don't believe you and I have met. SEA, have you seen KL? I finally got the laser cannon working on Planet X, and I've got an invasion force from the Rodentar /Mangol Alliance entering this system. I thought he'd like to know.

[sea] welcome back, red. KL is around here somewhere.... i think. he's everywhere, really... (or at least everywhere affy is)

Hello, Red. So, finally got that giant laser cannon activated?

*sighs*

Well, I guess that's something else that I'll have to put on my list of things to worry about.

[ooc] i don't know about you guys, but my bones crunch when i stand up much less when i bump into a wall

[deth] i'm sorry sea, i did not mean to intrude... you seemed to be having trouble quelling the natives... *glances at the ship above* impressive...