h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Deary Me, the basement of Glasgow Central would appear to be infested with HedgeHogs again. Now, if you will just follow this light here, we shall have you up on the concourse in a jiffy. I would, however, suggest you don't wear those academic robes next time you play, far too easy to lose something up them.

I don't know, you mention a drunken anecdote, and the next thing you know, there are woodland creatures everywhere.

Deary Me, the basement of Glasgow Central would appear to be infested with HedgeHogs again. Now, if you will just follow this light here, we shall have you up on the concourse in a jiffy. I would, however, suggest you don't wear those academic robes next time you play, far too easy to lose something up them.

I don't know, you mention a drunken anecdote, and the next thing you know, there are woodland creatures everywhere.

Deary Me, the basement of Glasgow Central would appear to be infested with HedgeHogs again. Now, if you will just follow this light here, we shall have you up on the concourse in a jiffy. I would, however, suggest you don't wear those academic robes next time you play, far too easy to lose something up them.

I don't know, you mention a drunken anecdote, and the next thing you know, there are woodland creatures everywhere.

Deary Me, the basement of Glasgow Central would appear to be infested with HedgeHogs again. Now, if you will just follow this light here, we shall have you up on the concourse in a jiffy. I would, however, suggest you don't wear those academic robes next time you play, far too easy to lose something up them.

I don't know, you mention a drunken anecdote, and the next thing you know, there are woodland creatures everywhere.

Oops!

Terrible echo in this station!

Well it is a train station. The entire point of station architecture is to destroy any hope of understanding the announcements.

Pardon? Couldn't quite make you out there. Well, I'd quite forgotten we were in the basement of Glasgow Central. That explains the strange rumbling noises overhead. But it's a good place to play, don't you think? Sorry I had to leave just as the action was hotting up yesterday, but if Vestboy can get the bubble wrap and cushions out of whatever cupboard he put them in, we can get started. Poor Dilbert was all psyched up to play when everyone left, so he should go first...

I was all set to bowl, I was just taking a long run up... I don't think four miles is excessive, do you?

Just a touch EV!!!

Don't the Taxi's get in the way as you approach the Bubble Lane?

I think a four mile run up is fine if you can complete it within the time allowed. You CAN manage it in 45 seconds, can't you? Except by my calculations you'd be doing 300 mph. This would probably result in a repitition of some of yesterday's injuries, unless you were able to slow down sufficiently so as not to place a foot on the bubble wrap as you bowled (resulting in the throw being disqualified of course). I have to say that the first ever Open Hedgehog Bowling Championships has not quite been the Sporting Event I was hoping for so far, I mean, we've only had one HH bowled one and a half feet to date...

*Thinks - More rules. Great!*
Erm. I'm just going to go over into this corner and practice a bit on my own before I have my next attempt.
*Thinks - I do any more damage here they'll ban me*
Just you carry on. I'm fine here in this dark corner. On my own.
*Takes baby hh out of the ferret proof pocket high up on the vest.*
Right then, roll up into a ball Hermione and I'll have a little practice.
*Hermione rolls up into a ball Vestboy very gently rols her about ten inches across the floor*
Yo, this is the way.
*Hermione hh unravels and looks up at Vestboy with an expectant look*
Good girl Hermione, have one of these
*pulls flat slug out of another ferret proof pocket and pops it into Hermione's mouth*

What's Vestie up to over there? Anyway, okay, I'll curtail the run-up a little next time, but since I'm the current leader with my bowl of one and a half feet, I can't think that it's my turn again already.

Have they got flea's, will I need rubber Marigolds?

yes, yes - and don't try sticking your fingers in the holes like tempin bowling - they don't like it up 'em! (Mr Mainwaring)

Did you say "terrapin bowling"?

Yes, it's all the rage. Though it's more of a winter sport due to the hh's not being available due to hibernation. You can keep the terrapins in a warm water aquarium and if you turn the thermostat too high it sort of ends up as soup.

Well, as long as you don't flush them down the toilet. We had such a lot of trouble last time.

So you're the one responsible for the 12 foot terrapins in the sewers! Yes, I think some practice is wise, Mr Vestboy, but don't feed too large a slug to a young hedgehog - it gives them dreadful cholic. I've got a lot of meetings with the bowling officials today: we're looking into a sponsorship deal, so I trust the bowling goes well. I'll look in later.