Escape Pod Dreams - 23
Created | Updated Dec 23, 2003
Waving a stick of pungent incense in the face of a sterile future!
Bad timing is everything...
You ever have one of those, um, weeks?
The lawyers for the people who do the lawnscaping around the IPR building and transmitter have invoked their lien in contradiction to the Sighthouse Productions for the Hard of Seeing take-over of our station.
Apparently it involves a class action suit against a bad lawyer who mediated a noise abatement action a few years ago when the Muddle Manglement
objected to the particular note that a riding mower made when busily rattling their office windows (that's not funny!) with tossed bits of shredded soda cans.
They joined others in filing suit to request quite strongly that the mower be tuned with an Idumean Pitch Pipe so that it would become more soothing and condusive to a worklike atmosphere.
It turned out that the Idumean Pitch Pipe is against the religion of the Lawn Mower Operator, who is a member of the Reformed Orthodox Guild of Ancient Samaria, meetings held Saturdays and Thursdays, Bingo at eight on Monday, excepting test matches.
Said Lawn Mower Operator, apparently a registered professional with the National Board of Professionals Who Register Professionals In Their Individual and Various Fields, a subset and diplomate of the International Trust for Disbelieving Harpists, took this prospective violation of his religious rights to the Labour and Religion Mediation Board of the Federal Union of Determinators, who then took the whole thing to the Armenian Choral Society's Supreme Court, hoping for an amicus curae brief from the Chieftain's Road Manager...
Anyway, this means that we are in limbo as to our actual ownership and a court-appointed receiver or caretaker (or whatever she is called) is responsible for our day to day and the bill paying, so that we don't go completely under.
Our non-profit tax status is also heavily in question, as some of the Upper Manglement made political contributions, it seems, to the local roving Italian Ice purveyor, Irlich Regonnan, who is registered to run for Dog Catcher and Roadside Sign Warden in our Parish.
All in all, things as they stand could hardly be worse and our prospects couldn't possibly be better.
I, personally, am angling for some kind of semi-lucrative redundancy scheme, so that I can finally semi-retire and open that lamp repair shop I've been dreaming about...
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I'm sorry. That person no longer works for us.
We return you to the regularly scheduled material:
Dame Edith Sutcliffe recites the lost erotic poetry of the Third Earl of Scone, in 4/4 time, to the accompaniment of her thoroughbred hermit crab, Skippy Paramount's Irish Delight, the IIIrd.
