h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Shuffles away from hole because can no longer hide behind Aximili*

I have no idea what those sticks are for. I do know that you can rub two sticks together to make fire, but if that's a dragon down there, I don't suppose you'd need two sticks.

I don't suppose you have any food in that bag? I haven't had any food in at least an hour, and there doesn't appear to be anything to eat here. *Chews grass carefully and immediately spits it out with a disgusted face* Nope, definitely not edible.

*decides to join in the conversation* I wasn't aware that there were dragons around these parts?

My father was a dragon you know.

*pauses thoughtfully*

You know, that might **be** my father. We could have a look...?

We've only just discovered the dragon ourselves. As it's a new discovery, we're letting the expert handle it - Aximili. I myself am standing well back, in case of any unforseen emergencies.

Speaking of Aximili, he still hasn't told us what those sticks are for. Or if there is any food in the bag. *Stomach growls* *Pegasus jumps* Oops, sorry, thought it was the dragon for a moment there.

If your father was a dragon what does that make you Mad Hatter? Mad?

As for eating the grass try eating the purple leaved plants, or the orange speckled bark of the trees to the north of you.

*A small glow-in-the-dark rabbit hops up and jumps towards us*

*Holds the sticks and waves a long, thin one in the air*

This is my patented Dragon-detector. Hold it out in front of you, and if the end catches fire, there's a good chance ou've found a dragon. This other one *Waves a shorter, heavier club* is for once you've found your Dragon. You simply bash it's noggin in with this.

There should be food in the bag. Why don't you guys stuff your faces and enjoy yourselves while I'm risking life and limb fighting a monstrous reptile?

I'll be big and brave and follow you in Axi!

I have an even better Dragon Detector, you push Axi into the hole where you *think* the dragon is, if he comes out looking like a large peice of charcoal then you've found a dragon, or someone's rigged up a flamethrower to a sensor inside the hole.

*Scoffs chocolate biscuit covered in purple leaves*

OK, I feel stronger now. I will now also accompany Axi to fight the monstrous reptile. Although, if it is mad-hatter's father, maybe we should go easy on it.








Or not *Evil laugh*...

The s here have actually evolved from birds, not reptiles.

If it is Mad Hatters father shouldn't we be nice to it?

Whether or not it is a relative of anyone here, I feel the need to arm myself.

*Picks up rabbit and brandishes it like a weapon* *Looks curiously at it, as if only just realising what has picked up* Sorry, wrong thing. *Breaks branch from tree and waves it fiercely around* Aha, I'm armed and dangerous! *Swings branch around, then falls over with the momentum* Oops.

I also feel that it would be better to arm myself, in case of any nasty accidents.

*Walks over to tree and attempts to break branch off. Fails miserably*

*Picks rabbit up and persuades it to nibble at the tree until it has eaten thorugh the branch*

Thank you, little rabbit.

*Rabbit runs away from Pegasus*

*Picks branch up and swings it around. Also falls over*

Haha. Um. Oops. Let's gloss over that embarrassing fall, shall we?

OK, I'm ready to vernture forth now.

*picks up chocolate biscuit and thrusts it towards Axi threateningly*

En guard!!!

*realises that a chocolate biscuit is much better for eating than for attacking unsuspecting people/creatures*

Sorry... Anybody got a substantial weapon that I could use to defend myself?

*Sighs at the amateurs*

Lok in the bag. There might be a breadknife or something...

I am not an amateur, I have all manner of scary weapons hidden about my person.

*Pulls out a Army knife from pocket*

Although the P90 may be better use later on...

Hey, who needs a P-90?

*pulls out the kataana used in Kill Bill*

Ooh... Shiny...

In response to your first point, Colonel Jack O'Neill, Daniel Jackson and Samantha Carter (hands off she's mine)!!!

I've just realised that a wooden object is not the best object to use to fight a fire-breathing creature. So...

*Pulls lightsaber from pocket*

Aha! Much better. Everyone armed now?

I think so. O.K lets go!!

But if that is Mad Hatters father why are we going to attack it? Or are the weapons in the name of self - defence?

Yes, I suppose they are... *looks at all of our weaponry* It's not exactly normal for me to introduce my friends like this...

But my dad has one hell of a temper... And if he's asleep... *cringes* He ain't gonna be a happy dragon!

Yes most peole introduce their friends with tea and biscuits!!

But anyway shall we proceed to meet the dragon!

I don't have any tea... Or biscuits, for that matter... *sighs*

But enough dilly-dallying! Let us go forth!