h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I'd like to add, not so much in response to as related to Z's comments about stigmatizing people for mental illness, that when I think of or speak of people who are unable to control their behavior, I'm not necessarily thinking or speaking specifically of people who are mentally or even emotionally upset. In fact, most of the (albeit comparatively few) people I've met on here who are/were dealing with some sort of mental illness were some of the nicest people I've met here, and the only reason I even know they're ill at all is because they've mentioned it.

In fact, most of my negative experiences with "out of control" people here have been with people who were posting while intoxicated things they probably wouldn't when sober.

I'm sorry to know that so many people have had personal "stalkers", too. It's not pleasant. I've yet to get off that mailing list and it's been 7 years. I'll keep getting that junk till I buy a house and move.

kea to Effers
>> I think the community should put some firm boundaries in place with regards to you, ensuring there are enough people who can keep an eye out for you too, and hopefully that will make it possible for you to be here and both you and the community to be ok.

I think so too, but I also think that we need to keep an eye out for a whole bunch of folks - Christiane for example who is elderly and has sensory problems - 2legs and mini (not that they'll need much help) - Willelm perhaps who's had troubles in the past. What I am saying here is that there are a lot of people we need to look out for.

And what about the future - when there's 20,000 people here, not 200? How do we handle that then?

I pose these questions very genuinely. How do we look out for 20,000 people?



As an observation, while we're being so open and honest. Effers, I've noticed that you very rarely if ever think about what other people might think and feel, and I think that may colour how other people respond to you. When you react to something your touchstone is your reactions and past experiences, how you think and feel. That's true for all of us, but possibly more for you than most. My guess is that it takes so much effort to be you that you've no spare energy to wonder what it's like to be anyone else. I don't mind this myself - why should I?

Ben, fair point but 'ouch' and timing...

Damn. It felt softer and kinder when I wrote it than it reads.

It really IS an observation and really is NOT a criticism.

Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn.

On the subject of Ouch, does anyone have any contact with the diaspora from OUCH! the BBC's disability site?

I'm afriad not. I was closed down a few weeks ago, I think.

Ouch Editors were encouraging their members to move into twitter or facebook to keep in touch. Unfortunately when members attempted to give their email/contact details online the mods yikes'd them all

Then they set up 'Ouch too' on aimoo...

> My guess is that it takes so much effort to be you that you've no spare energy to wonder what it's like to be anyone else.<

This is so far away from the person my friends in real life would recognise me to be that it's incredible.

Maybe I'm just utterly useless at online communication.

I won't deny that I can be thoughtless but to have that 'absolute' about me suggested is enough to someone round the bend.

I do think I'm worse than most at online stuff though. It does feel a very artificial way of communicating to me on the whole compared to the richness and complexity of real life communication.

But something good to have come out of my problems here of late is that I have got back in touch with my excellent real life friends that I cut myself off from since I was ill.

But I expect they'd be viewed pretty poorly here as well.

Then I am really sorry for reading you "wrong". I shouldn't have posted that here, and I am sorry for that.

It genuinely was an observation on your posting style and NOT a judgement (who am I to judge?) or an attempt to lable you.

Once more, I'm sorry.

I should post less and lurk more. Actually, at the moment I should post less and lurk less.

Ben

At the risk of droning on with my usual stuff I think its a cultural thing. Some people find online culture much easier than others to do with communication.

Totally agree with you on that. Which kinda brings us back to h2g2's culture, and how we make it less mean but keep it interesting.

I've also discovered that h2g2-people are often very happy trading in 300 word, 500 word and 1500 word emails. Must be sommethign to do with being a writing site.

> how we make it less mean but keep it interesting.<

with you there. That's the art.

lots of backlog and not a lot of time.

Peanut - spot on, I have really vile symptoms luckily not every month. But I know from bitter experience that when it hits, the only way not to get into an awful mess is to stay away from h2g2.

Now the tippy-toeing. Several people have mentioned recently that thee is a behaviour being tolerated, it has been for quite a while now, that is detracting from their enjoyment of the site. For me it got to the point where every time I saw a particular name come up in a thread I closed h2g2 and left it for another day. But it got more and more, and more and more bloody and (IMO) unacceptable that even when the behaviour wasn't as bad as it could be - it just really really annoyed and upset me. And I think I wasn't alone.

now, I can understand when a newbie is here and finding their feet that it could be a bit weird and they need a lot of gentle help and support. We do that well because we have ACEs and they are good at finding other people to help when necessary.

But when so many threads are being derailed into "mememememememe" and foot stamping and all the rest of the guff, it is depressing to see that other people (who may or may not also have mental health issues, or a lot of external pressures or something that we can't see through the screen) are slapped down and moderated heavily - then it seems plain wrong.

And yes, there was an incident recently where someone was put on premod after what looked like a lot of bad behaviours all at once, but why that one and not the other? And that is the crux of it for me. Even handedness - with an awareness of issues if necessary - but mental health issues are not something to hide behind. And I'm afraid that it looks as though this is what is happening here recently.

And since they came up - I never actually encountered any of the Della stuff either while it was happening or in a place I frequented, indeed I had a convo going with her about an author we both liked and I hardly noticed any of the other stuff - but that whole Della thing was an ABSOLUTE disgrace and there should have been more steps taken against ALL parties in that.

It is, however water under the bridge and what happened happened, but I hope we learned something from that.

I still maintain, however, that if you join a site where you have to click to agree to T&C I don't actually care that you have some issues - you have agreed to them. If you were in a place that you mentally couldn't understand them - then they are null and void, surely, as is the membership until such time as you can understand and abide by them??

It's kind of like the nutter on the bus, isn't it. If they are chuntering to themselves and not actually interfering with anyone, we put up with them because, well... there but for the grace of Bod and all that. But if they did something that put the passengers in harm or went against the bus company regulations for passengers would we say "oh, well, she's got PMT/is bipolar?" no we wouldn't.

Stephen Fry - I would so love for him to be here. I get the impression that he sometimes needs TL C but manages to function pretty well within the confines of societal norms or he wouldn't be on TV as often as he is (I wish Ross and Brand would behave as well)

It would be good if we could find a way to have more playfullness. That's creative and interesting and friendly.

I know in real life I'm happiest when I have that kind of interaction with people.

I find that when you take on the role of Deus ex Machina, Effers

When you&#39;re good, you&#39;re very very good. When you&#39;re bad ............ you know the rest Aren&#39;t a lot of us depending on our mood and circumstances None of which excuses the truely manipulative troll

I was just delighted to see a pipistrelle bat flying round and round the garden and it was extremely playful to my mind the way it was darting around trying to catch insects.

And it didn't seem the least bothered by the whine of sirens in the distance.

Maybe it has to be a community determination to bring more of that atmosphere here?

Maybe we should ask the insects

Also the wind, and the clouds, the trees, the birds, would be good. All things that have a kind of playfulness as an idea.

Hi everyone, it's official, I'm a bad online host. I haven't made it onto this thread for days, and now I'm only here to say that I won't be around for a week. Things have become awfully real in my particular corner of reality, especially in the office, and I need my inadequate stores of energy to deal with some reasonably challenging situations. Oh, and I have to go to Melbourne next week too.

At this stage I'd hope to be back on deck next Thursday, and as soon as I can after that I'll attempt to summarise this thread to see what's come of it all.

In the meantime - by all means, keep raising issues and/or commenting on issues here.

Ivan.