h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

the official survival guide for Reading as printed by the Carling website:

What to bring:

Don't forget your ticket
Bring enough money for the weekend and your cash card just in case you run out.
If you're coming by bus or train then remember your travel tickets so you can get home at the end of the festival. The tickets will also have the name of where you live on it which can also be handy after three days of festival fun.
If you're driving then remember to check where you parked your car. It's amazing how many people also have the same make and colour of car as you.
Bring your mobile so you can find your friends when you inevitably get lost at some point.
We may be blessed with gorgeous sunshine all weekend or it may piss it down, so make sure you bring clothes for all conditions.
Toilet roll - do not forget this one, it's nearly as important as your ticket.
Deodorising wipes - take a cleansing bath without using any water. Magic.
Black bags - keeps things dry, can be sat on or turned into strange waterproof clothing.
Disposable camera - capture those moments that will let you blackmail your friends for years to come.
Sunscreen - the lobster look definitely isn't a winner.
Condoms - see below.

Camping:

If you're camping bring a tent, sleeping bag and camping mat - it'll make things much easier… and a torch is a must - tripping over guy ropes can result in you falling over which generally hurts.
Don't camp near the toilets or next to the water taps - just trust us, it's really not a good move.
Don't light fires in or around your tent - they have a habit of melting.
If you're in Leeds, don't light any fires - they are not allowed anywhere on site.

Drinking:

Be sensible when drinking - remember to regularly drink water to prevent yourself dehydrating, especially if it's steaming hot weather and you're knocking back the booze.

Sex:

Festivals are a great place to meet lovely people who you may want to get to know more intimately. If you do have sex then make sure you use a condom to reduce the risk of unwanted pregnancy and STD's.
Be aware that if you meet someone on Sunday they may not have washed for three days.

Drugs:

The only kind of drugs you can bring are the ones prescribed by your doctor.
As well as being asked to leave the festival, you may also have your collar felt by the long arm of the law if you are caught with anything illegal.



i can't wait

That's great!!

eep. *hops up and down*

still waiting for the goddam tickets though

ditto.

I might give the guy a call and ask if he's got them yet.

How long have you got till you call up for them?

i am gonna call Monday.

*jumps up and down in seat*

let me know if your blokey has got his.

I like condoms. They make great balloons, and water bombs.

they do have a practical application too you know

'you're only young once, but you can be immature forever' <---- you to a 'T'

but I'm not technically an adult yet. So I can have the best of both worlds

They have a practical application? First I've heard of this...

i am sure you will see one day


yeah, 17 is pretty much a useless age. like 19 and anything between 22 and 29 then 31 to 39 and then 41 to 49...you get my drift.

You only like the parties at the beginning of them.
Anyway. Most people hate their 40th birthday party.

no, i think most people just act like they hate it cos it is expected of them. personally i'd hate my 65th birthday more. i don't intend on having kids until i am close to 40!

I'm looking forward to my hundredth birthday
I'd like to have kids when I'm in a situation that'll be good for them
Although they say you shouldn't have them too old or they'll be born damaged, the mother too sometimes.

guess i'll have to get a younger bride then

i intend to be well sorted by the time i am 35...hopefully

You still going for a policy job?

yep indeedy. my welsh mate won't talk to me once i get it though. he said he'd beat me up himself. i said bring it bitch such a child.

Surely it's a good thing having a friend in the police force?

This post has been removed.

I must remember that song

What do you learn in police training? You do some judo don't you?

to be honest i haven't got too much of a clue i know you have to go through some hand to hand combat moves and restraint holds. but you also have to have control over your temper and keep it impartial. i think i wil be good at that one

Do you get your own handcuffs

You good at controlling your temper then?