h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Now there's a thought... we could decorate with them...

Ooooooooh! Pretty!!!

I LOVE a good Dungeons & Dragons party! (Easy on the dragons, of course). I'll just dash and get my best latex tuxedo!

We only use the s to toast marshmallows for s'mores. well that and to keep the still running..

And I thought the drip...drip....drip sound was the typical damp problems you get in dungeons! Ahhhhhhh....that explains the 142 percent overproof paint stripper that that I found in the 'fridge...........

Oh that's just my last batch of meade.. the batch before that was used to strip the hard wood floors..

...I drank some of that~!...*her hair blows back as Batty zooms past...*

Teasing me because my mind travels faster than the speed of hands.

...*the second crate lands barely missing poor Batty...who spent the first part of the week getting out of that old woman's hair...no one asked where she put the body...*

Those chains are drappery holders for the fabrics that hang from my bed room! That's no way to decorate a church! That's what the other crate is for.
M-16s, stingers, you know...my usual. And there are new roller skates for Batty and a surf board for derby and, thassss mine!

Ahh! A pink, latex surf board...how lovely! But where do you insert the batteries????

...*pulls the tarp from another crate...*That's what the generator is for.
Think of the money we'll save on batteries!
Not that we need save money.

Ahh! The deep joy of catching a wave.......the generator strapped to the board, and throbbing away at maxium 'warpped speed'..........me 'hanging ten', whilst I...I....I...

I do believe the operative word here is: 'WARPPED'

I'm really sorry that I haven't been around much lately......I've been beavering away in the den, working on my magnum opus.........

'The General and Special Theories of the Relativity of Latex Devices'

The trouble is, that Princeton is saying that it has already been done. Ah well, there's always Yale.....THEY will take ANYBODY!

Can't argue with that.. isn't that Dubya's alma mater?

*sits and sips her ini while Pan kick starts the generator*

'Ooohhhhh mmmyyyyyy!! Tthhaatt ggeenneerraattorr rreeaallyy mmaakkeess mmee .....oooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!

...*tosses ice water on everyone but herself...*~~~~~~~~

Hey! THAT's not fair! How come Pandora gets to continue steaming, whilst we are all 'chilled out'?

*removes the from the ice bucket and pours the nice chilly cubes down Pan's blouse*

OMG!!!!!!

I just don't believe ANYTHING of Pandora's could be so affected by the cold!!!!!!!!

Quick! Pass me the binoculars...............

...*after the SHOCK wears off...Pan looks down at what USE to be a designer blouse...now sporting two rips in the front...*

Hey Missy!! Don't think for a New York minute you're gonna' get out of buying me a BRAND new top! ...*grabs the tag on the side & ...rips it off...*

You see?See?! ALL the way from "Tiwain"
See?! Even the cleaning instructions are in their native tongue:
To care wash not in water only. Clean dry. Bag to hang. Weear onlyist
in dry and warm day. ETC.!!!!
...*shaking finger in Batty's face...*
And don't think for one li'l secon' I'm gonna' use that damned Hootoo charge
card of yours. And not just cuz it's been cut into two pieces either.

*appropriates Pan's own Hootoo Express Card from her purse*

Here.. try this one.