h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

probably... there is certainly a group for all else. Try posting that to <./>askh2g2</.>

Menstruation??? AAARRRGGGGHHHHHH! Where are my happy pills when I need them??

MAX! Dha-lll-kink! So good to see you again!>

Hellboundforjoy! Come relax-a-late yourself by the fireplace. Has everyone picked up a new 'Winteriazed Tart Badge Warmer'?
I know it looks jssss like the last ones but these go from
Toin 42 seconds or you can send in for another one & you''l save half off your next next battery pack.

...*whispers out of the corner of her mouth to Batty...*where's the brandy? the 'good' stuff?

...*whips out collection plate...* Donations are ALWAYS greatfully accepted! You know whaaaat? I don't recall a time when I heard anyone...*holds hands in front of herself as if stopping someone coming at her...*EVER turning down a donation.

Why couldn't MAX be a b.a.t.? Ain't zackly like we've
'cornered' the market on Tar-tisum...An' if ya' read the rules of this
place, it clearly states that there ARE NO RULES.

This place remainds me of my first appartment.

Oooooo, one p.m.~~Best get me some beauty sleep!!;-D

Due to the death of my iMacI shall be here in spurts until my new one comes in. I know mac is in a better place. No one spitting sweet tea on it's key pad whilst laughing out loud. Nobody wacking it upside it's screen when it goes too slowly. And no one programming it to say vile things.Mac shall be missed.Well, not REALLY, cuz jusss as soon as the new model arrives...*whispers...*I'm
taking Mac out to the country & using it for target practice!

Shall we bow our heads and nap?

...*hold up a note...*
REFRESHMENTS ARE ON THE STAND BY THE DOOR - NEXT TO THE CONDOMS

Ooh!!! Spirits!! and with these handy little one-size-fits-all rubber nipple thingies on them to keep from spilling...

*whispers to Pan* next time maybe you should put the prophylactics and the libations in separate containers...

I thought one thing led to another?!?

*runs through the temple frantically*

Tarts! We must defend our honor!!!! So to speak...

A2095698

Batty!

I posted on a new thread titled:'Kicking at your shins'!
I gave the Some (CL)ass to BITE!

I'm tempted to take the battle to "their house" at some point. Nothing like a friendly DNA war to get everyone going...

...*picks up stinger missle...*

*wonders in

Some of us are almost housebroken.............honestly!
We cook, shop, iron shirts and lurk around b.a.t.s pages trying to look semi-intelligent...........

(n.b. recipes and literary discussions a speciality)

Ooh! All necessary traits in a proper tart's uh.. plaything..

Plaything.......plaything.........ah, yes! I dimly remember something to do with DNA being mentioned?

Oh the war? I believe that's long over... don't think anyone really won or anything - everyone just sort of found better things to do..

Ah! I see -
Being both obtuse (and British), one tends to approach the subject in hand somewhat - obliquely! I was not intending to cause offence (I would even declared myself a prisoner of war, if necessary).

I do so hope that your evening is a joyous one

DL

No need to run off.. especially if you're here to enquire about the open position for a plaything.. in which case it helps to be obtuse (and doesn't hurt to be British)..

PLaything of b.a.t.s? How utterly splendid! I shall apply for the position, immediately...........whatever the position is.

To whom do I address my curriculum vitae? What special duties and obligations are there? Do I get a uniform? Snacks? Drinkiepoos?

Application accepted!

*hands DL the "uniform" - a rather skimpy and relatively see through loincloth*

The major skills required are hot oil massage, serving and of course grape peeling.

*quickly polishes a silver salver to take a luscious bunch of grapes to Madam - damn, where did I put my best grape-peeling tongs?*

*wriggles into the tiny undergarment provided - has to use masses of baby oil to ease my way in*

Arrives panting, throne-side........just in time to be asked to mix an exceptionally large martini

Oh my! This is going to be exhausting!! Damn......and I must get that flask of pure almond oil to blood-heat as soon as possible.........

*bats eyelids* *bats eye lashes*