h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

la la la la

grraaah, ive freshly learnt an ' i hate silly men' chant, ,
bin dancing around.

Pan, i hear ure back from the depths of beyond!!!!wassup!!!

Well....certainly not all the curtains! You outta' hear the truck horns blow!
...*spins & twirls...*Oh how I've missed this place!
forgot my ID/code thingie...but, they actually HELPED me return!
...*passes around tray of &...*
Mama's home girls!

Okie-dokie...to day was a sad day and a happy day.
Mari-rae & Kes, who met here on h2g2 have wed.
Thassss the happy part.
The sad part is; Not one stinkin' Hiker had purchased one single vat of my Anti-Hootoo-Love-Potion #9.
Come on now. It's a beyond your lifetime supply.
It's only 42K...and, I guess I forgot to advertise this part, it'll make you smell like sumthin' good to eat.
As I've been celebration-inebreatin'......thasss it for this Service June 15, 2003 of the Born Again Church Services.
Rock On!

oooh, i went out with someone from h2g2...best not to bring it up actually.



went to the parteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee island at the weekend, lots of sunseasand..........
disco fever

I heard a bit-o-'bout that.

Pandora knows all. (cuz people E me details!)
d-tales...hahaha, oh I do keep myself amused.

hear about what, my h2g2 ex? from who? i'll ask him now...... been telling tales has he?

A GOOD Tart NEVER reviels her source!
...So then he said...

erm, ok. ...i asked him anyway. and he answered. we had a chat.

C-baby, a "chat" is always a good place to start.
~~~~~~~~~Oh, yeah, I'm excite-a-lated cuz you jusss
helped me coin a new Tartism: 'Starter-Tarter'. Needs w*rk. But you get the drift

Need any love advice Hon<?>
I've had 13 serious marrigae proposals. Sorta' makes me an expert in stuff like, broken hearts, healing the child within, drinking/drugs,
depression, lude conduct...although I truely rather like that one.
On & on like that.I sure know what NOT to say.
Oooo and I can teach the 'fine art' of face slapping!
Need anything at all, jusss call on Auntie Pandora.

SUMMER'S OFFICALLY HERE!!
RUN NAKED THRU THE FIELDS!
SWIM NUDE IN THE WATER(S)!
MAKE LOVE UNDER THE SKY!



I forget the rest of the service.

PARTYOHYEAH

Time to go thank Mother Earth!...*drops dress...loses slip...runs outside nude...hair flying in the breeze...*WHOOO-HOOO!

Yo'!SERVICE!

Unless you're feedin' it to someone. this is what you can do about SPAM:

On the 11p.m. news - the Anchor said the law to make telemarketers remove you from
their list is to take affect as of July 7th, 2003.
After sometime<?> in October - the telemarketers will be fined $1,100 per call that can be varified is
on the 'do not call' list.
As some of you know, I have, for the past year or so,sent this idea to several Senators as well as marketing
firms. I told them that I actually tell the 'Tele-spam-in-ators' I will be suing them 'quarterly' for the amount of $500 dollars per call or Spam after todays date... plus ALL Court costs, including but not limited to Lawyers fees.
I go on to list ways in which I am being bothered by their SPAM &/or telemarketing.
I tell them that The County Seat where the law suits will take place is only 20 miles from me.
That half a day driving, visiting The County Seat & hangng out in the CourtHouse is pretty cool for me so,
the money I will be awarded is just a good way to earn $500 dollars per case, as well as keep in contact with people I know who live in and around the County Seat. (I never let know what City/State I am in - let them worry about it)
I tell them: I'm sure you're in this business to try to MAKE money not spend it. So, do yourself a favor & delete
my E-mail addy from their computer. I also say:
That I keep 'neat' records of all E-mails sent as well as received. (bettcha' you did know I was so orgainzed)
*ahem*
I add, This is the only notification of intent you will get from me until you are notified of the actual Trial Date.
I also say stuff like:
You are hereby notified by me (never give my name or gender): : should you sell/trade/give, ect. ANY information with regard to my addy or myself, for each addy you supply to another person/Company a fee of $50 *each* will be added onto the $500 fee. And records kept of those so that the Companies you knowingly sold/gave, etc. a 'cold lead' may also, in turn sue you for intentional fraud.
Please note: this type of fraud usually becomes a Class Action suit very quickly.
(stroke them a bit, cuz by now they'er really ticked)
I'm certain you know about the new anti-spam and privacy acts that are active in your State. I believe my State to be a bit harsher.
Again, not wishing to add to the stress in your life, as well as relieve some of my own, should you do anything other than delete my message, you have been notified of my intent and You will receive a Summons to Court.

Most Sincerely,



CC:

This has w*rked great for ridding myself of junk mail via 'puter as well as 'snail'.
However, after sending this same 'notice of intent' to a Spaming Senator...something's actually being done.

Please feel free to copy & paste for your own convenience.

>
>Hello everyone!
>
>WANT TO GET RID OF ANNOYING TELEMARKETERS?
>
>You can visit this website and register to be on the FTC "Do not call list." From what I understand it takes 60-90 days for the calls to actually stop, but there is an end in sight!! Be prepared, the response to this is phenominal, so it make take several tries and the response time is slow. Just keep trying though. I did and it eventually worked!
>
>Good luck!
>Christine C.
>
> http://www.ftc.gov/index.html
><< FederalTradeCommissionHome.url >>


I'm not sure how this will go over in other Countries...although a young man I know said his father is a solicitor (lawyer, for my unknowing American friends...& for my Europen frineds, a solicitor is the person causing the SPAM, etc.) & he thought it might do well, at least in the UK.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

That's it for today. Last one in the pool's gotta' clean the strawberries and empyu wine glasses out!~~~~~~SPLASH
ahhhhthis is such a comfy church!

yaaaay *dances about* home at last. gawd its been so long. ohh batty says hey to everyone.
rosie

Where the is Batty?!?

Hello ladies!...*rubs fists into eyes...*I just woke up!It's
after 2pm!
Now I don't know what to do cuz 2pm is my usual naptime.

I guess it would be a good idea to get dresses or sumthin'.
There's a fella'...*whispers...*a nice strong construction w*rker
coming over today. What to wear? What to wear?
I think I'll jusss let him dress me when he arrives.


I do hope Tarts and lurkers alike are faring well.

Take care and remember:SUNSCREEN!

How much is too much to drink?However many I had last night.
In my defense, I will say that bourbon is an amaze-a-lating pain killer.But too much causes pain. I'm all confuz-eled. Again.

Anyway the Service for tody has to do with NOT dancing with unknown partners whilst weraing open toed shoes.'Specially great big fella's with giant feet.

Ohmyhell!!! I think I'm going to loose a toenail!

...*sits up for a sec...*Thanks for stopping by. Drinks are on the table with the collection plate.

...*enters sans toenail...*
G-day Tarts & lurkers alike. Today I want to speak on tarts fighting eachother overmen!
Soory, It'zzz jusss so silly!
Anywho....I've been challanged to a fight for a man.
My 1st instinct was to tell the *ahem* lady to stick her head up my a** & fight for air. But....(no pun intended)....But, She's
young. So, I'm jusss gonna' pummel her a little and take her out for a nice meal. After her jaw is no longer wired shut!

Sisters unite! Do not fight!

Thassss all...*cracks knuckles...in a most lady-like manner...*
Halppp yourselves to the refreshments.And quit leaving
mis-matched buttons in the collection plate!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I wanna join the BAT's!!
Suz

Welcome Sister b.a.t.!
Here is your official b.a.t. pin

I woulda', well, maybe, woulda' had a Service today...
being it's Sunday an' all. But even God rested on
the 7th day.
...*whispers...*you can make ANY day the 7th day if you jussss count backwards about six days or so.





Tarts & Lurkers alike...we welcome Zookee to The B.A.T.s!
...*whispers...*the medcinal brownies are very good...

Alrighty i'm here. Can we discuss menstration here? I've been looking for a place to complain about cramps, I have them, I hate them, menopause take me away... But I don't want to offend any delicate sensabilities.

Is there a chapel, dedicated to British television series of the Nineteen Sixties?

Even if I'm not allowed to join, might I make a donation?