This is a Journal entry by Milla, h2g2 Operations

Milla isn't doing NaJoPoMo

Post 1

Milla, h2g2 Operations

It might be because I'm so competitive that if I didn't hold the promise, I'd beat myself up badly. And I'm good at beating myself up.

It might be because the blues seem to have hit. I have a near constant lump in the throat and threats of tears.

So, I'm trying to back off from things, to sleep a lot, and generally try to rest. And I'm struggling not to apologise too much about that, because Pastey says I shouldn't apologise. But I still think it's fair to let you know I'm not as energetic that I'd like to be at the moment.

And I *am* feeling very sorry about myself, drama queen that I am. Since this isn't facebook, I feel it's ok to be real here, and not having to show the brave glossy version of my life. It's not a bad life, I'm just a little low. It will pass.

smiley - towel


Milla isn't doing NaJoPoMo

Post 2

Magwitch - My name is Mags and I am funky.

smiley - hug


Milla isn't doing NaJoPoMo

Post 3

Researcher 14993127

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smiley - cat


Milla isn't doing NaJoPoMo

Post 4

Milla, h2g2 Operations

smiley - hug

thanks.

smiley - towel


Milla isn't doing NaJoPoMo

Post 5

Vip

Aww, sweetheart, that's no fun. smiley - sadface Definitely look after yourself. Also, it's lovely to know that you have somewhere where you can be yourself. smiley - cuddle

smiley - fairy


Milla isn't doing NaJoPoMo

Post 6

Pierre de la Mer ~ sometimes slightly worried but never panicking ~

smiley - teasmiley - cakesmiley - candlesmiley - hug

smiley - pirate


Milla isn't doing NaJoPoMo

Post 7

Witty Moniker

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I'm not doing the challenge, either. I'm too busy running as fast as I can just not to lose any ground. Don't beat yourself up.


Milla isn't doing NaJoPoMo

Post 8

You can call me TC

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Milla isn't doing NaJoPoMo

Post 9

Tavaron da Quirm - Arts Editor

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I also don#t participate. I hardly ever write any journals at all, I don#t think many things are really worth writing about.


Milla isn't doing NaJoPoMo

Post 10

Titania (gone for lunch)

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Are you taking D-vitamins, Milla?


Milla isn't doing NaJoPoMo

Post 11

Milla, h2g2 Operations

Every day. But only since a couple of weeks, had a long break over summer.
And I am working on catching up on sleep, and trying to remember to eat when I should.
smiley - towel


Milla isn't doing NaJoPoMo

Post 12

psychocandy-moderation team leader

smiley - hug for Milla.

I'm not doing the challenge either (I don't like to write anyway smiley - winkeye) and TBH, don't have time to read them, either, so I am unsubbing from all of them anyway.

Please be kind to yourself and remember to breathe. smiley - hugsmiley - choc


Milla isn't doing NaJoPoMo

Post 13

Beatrice

It's good that you can feel that this place is still a safe haven where you can just say what's on your mind smiley - hug


Milla isn't doing NaJoPoMo

Post 14

Milla, h2g2 Operations

That's one of the things with h2g2 - it's real.

And I am being gentle to myself, sleeping a lot, trying to eat enough. Food is weird. I'm hungry most of the time, but I don't have an appetite, I lose all interest in cooking. If there isn't something for a quick snack, I just don't eat. This is a vicious circle, since being hungry makes me more blue. But I do try.

I'm trying to thing what I really like to do for the guide, and actually backed off a few things that just make me feel guilty.

So, it will be better again. And thanks you all, I get smiley - hug and feel better already.


Milla isn't doing NaJoPoMo

Post 15

Websailor

Milla, that is exactly how I felt after losing my husband. Apparently the hunger of that kind can be brought on by trauma of some kind. Don't know how things are with you, but definitely don't apologise and be kind to yourself.

If there is a definitive cause then you should seek help otherwise maybe it is the start of the winter blues.

Whichever it is, we are here and i agree this place is real, a listening and caring place. so keep in touch.

Websailor smiley - dragon


Milla isn't doing NaJoPoMo

Post 16

Milla, h2g2 Operations

Do you all know how wonderful you are? Take a second and read that again. You are wonderful.

Me, not so much. Last weeks have been better, but tonight, I sit still, and notice that I am still tired.

I don't allow myself to really rest - even when I'm not *doing* things, I think of all the things I think I *should* be doing. So that's not really restful.

I've been home alone for about an hour, sitting quietly, thinking, and have come to the conclusion that I need to be kinder to myself still. And also go to bed.

I may drop in here now and then, but not much.

smiley - towel


Milla isn't doing NaJoPoMo

Post 17

You can call me TC

smiley - hugsmiley - towel


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