Milla has ... things.
Posted Apr 26, 2020
The chronic thing is - ta-daa - ADHD!
Got diagnosed in December, and it explains so much...
Still on trial levels of medication, and I can't say there's a huge difference.
The temporary thing is, or rather was, probably CoViD-19.
I had a higher temperature than normal on and off for a week or two, mostly on for a couple of days, and then a day of higher temp spaced by a few days of lower, for a while. When the temperature was high, my resting heartbeat was a fair bit higher than usual too. A few times I had nausea, once I was even sick from it. I had a sore naso-pharynx, just where the back of the nose passage joins the throat. And I had a couple of days with pretty bad shortness of breath. But no dry coughing - at lest no more than the rest of the year.
The spooky thing is that I had completely, 100%, forgotten about the shortness of breath. To the extent that when asked, I denied that I had ever been short of breath. At the time, I was more worried about my racing heart, for some reason, and maybe I reasoned that with a fever and elevated heart beat, it's to be expected that you aren't breathing as usual.
But to forget such a blatant symptom of CoViD? (covid? COVID? one day I might remember the correct way to write it. Today is not that day). It makes me worry about what other things I'm forgetting. Like seriously. OK. I've learned that I have ADHD, and that my short term memory is unreliable (to be polite). But this went on for a while, and it still disappeared from my brain?
I hope someone reminds me if they have something I should have done for them...
Posted Oct 10, 2017
... about the anxiety creeping up on me.
I don't know why.
Finished a big project last week, but one part, that I wasn't aware of, doesn't work now. And it's beyond my control.
A child of mine isn't well, and it's beyond my control too. I can support, but can't heal.
Cat won't eat. I don't know why.
I come to work, look at the screen, and can't get moving.
And this lump in the pit of my stomach, and in my throat.
I try to sleep enough. Go to bed at 10, but it's hard to sleep.
Alarm at 7 45, but can't get up until 8.30, on a good day. On weekends, I can sleep 12 hours, and still no energy.
Weepy feelings. But holding back.
Forgetful. Things just drop off my mental do to list. (Just remembered about 4 things I should do...)
Perhaps I should contact the doctor again.
Milla just realised...
Posted Aug 15, 2017
... that some of my fb friends who used to be supportive of Lord Dampnut have been very quiet lately.
I choose to see this as a positive sign.
Milla hasn't been around here a lot
Posted Jul 26, 2017
Which is a shame.
It's the last week of a long summer break, and in the weekend, R and Son and I are going to the Manchester meet. Looking forward to that!
I can't seem to get any thoughts out in legible form here. But life is good, today there's no rain (yet...), I have nothing to complain about.
Except for the lack of expressing myself. Perhaps I run on drama, and where there's none, my head goes blank?
As you were.
Milla is a little sad and worried
Posted Nov 10, 2016
I suppose I should have hope in humanity, and faith in people.
But today, I'm finding it hard.