Journal Entries

Milla has ... things.

The chronic thing is - ta-daa - ADHD!
Got diagnosed in December, and it explains so much...
Still on trial levels of medication, and I can't say there's a huge difference.

The temporary thing is, or rather was, probably CoViD-19.

I had a higher temperature than normal on and off for a week or two, mostly on for a couple of days, and then a day of higher temp spaced by a few days of lower, for a while. When the temperature was high, my resting heartbeat was a fair bit higher than usual too. A few times I had nausea, once I was even sick from it. I had a sore naso-pharynx, just where the back of the nose passage joins the throat. And I had a couple of days with pretty bad shortness of breath. But no dry coughing - at lest no more than the rest of the year.

The spooky thing is that I had completely, 100%, forgotten about the shortness of breath. To the extent that when asked, I denied that I had ever been short of breath. At the time, I was more worried about my racing heart, for some reason, and maybe I reasoned that with a fever and elevated heart beat, it's to be expected that you aren't breathing as usual.

But to forget such a blatant symptom of CoViD? (covid? COVID? one day I might remember the correct way to write it. Today is not that day). It makes me worry about what other things I'm forgetting. Like seriously. OK. I've learned that I have ADHD, and that my short term memory is unreliable (to be polite). But this went on for a while, and it still disappeared from my brain?

Oh well.

I hope someone reminds me if they have something I should have done for them...

smiley - towel

Discuss this Journal entry [10]

Latest reply: Apr 26, 2020

Milla complains.

... about the anxiety creeping up on me.
I don't know why.
Finished a big project last week, but one part, that I wasn't aware of, doesn't work now. And it's beyond my control.
A child of mine isn't well, and it's beyond my control too. I can support, but can't heal.
Cat won't eat. I don't know why.
I come to work, look at the screen, and can't get moving.
And this lump in the pit of my stomach, and in my throat.

I try to sleep enough. Go to bed at 10, but it's hard to sleep.
Alarm at 7 45, but can't get up until 8.30, on a good day. On weekends, I can sleep 12 hours, and still no energy.

Weepy feelings. But holding back.

Forgetful. Things just drop off my mental do to list. (Just remembered about 4 things I should do...)

No initiative.

Perhaps I should contact the doctor again.

smiley - towel

Discuss this Journal entry [10]

Latest reply: Oct 10, 2017

Milla just realised...

... that some of my fb friends who used to be supportive of Lord Dampnut have been very quiet lately.
I choose to see this as a positive sign.

smiley - towel

Discuss this Journal entry [6]

Latest reply: Aug 15, 2017

Milla hasn't been around here a lot

Which is a shame.
But hey.
It's the last week of a long summer break, and in the weekend, R and Son and I are going to the Manchester meet. Looking forward to that!

I can't seem to get any thoughts out in legible form here. But life is good, today there's no rain (yet...), I have nothing to complain about.

Except for the lack of expressing myself. Perhaps I run on drama, and where there's none, my head goes blank?

As you were.

smiley - towel

Discuss this Journal entry [13]

Latest reply: Jul 26, 2017

Milla is a little sad and worried

I suppose I should have hope in humanity, and faith in people.

But today, I'm finding it hard.

smiley - towel

Discuss this Journal entry [22]

Latest reply: Nov 10, 2016


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