h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

If God didn't have a sense of humor, why did She
give men nipples?

If God had intended shrimps and chickens to rule the world,
He wouldn't have made them so small and tasty.

If God had intended for people to have birdfeeders,
He wouldn't have made squirrels so clever.

If God is a man, how come it's only women who get multiple orgasms?

If there is a God, why isn't He doing something
about the Spam that fills everybody's email box.

Theroad to Hell is paved with.... complete morons.

http://deseretnews.com/dn/view/0,1249,505037575,00.html?
http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_800013.html?menu=news.quirkies

It is a freaking NUMBER, morons!

Let him that hath understanding count the number of the beast: for it is the number of a man: and his number is Six hundred threescore and six.

The King James version has such a way with words, especially if you put on a big deep voice.

Fortunately our Devil's Highway seems to be resisting attempts to rename it: http://www.pberry.plus.com/ukroads/roadsby10/a66x.html

Time to recycle an old joke...


"668 the neighbour of the Beast"

I happened to grow up in Bolton, though it wasn't
the Bolton that is in Britain. We already have
a Route 495, which is not far off the 491 that is planned
for Utah's Rte. 666.

There are other cultures that imbue certain numbers
with sinister significance. For instance, the Chinese
words for "fourteen" and "certain death sound the same,
so it isn't unusual for the Chinese to avoid uses of the
number 14 whenever possible. If you go into a Chinese
office building, don't be surprised if it has no 14th floor.

"I happened to grow up in Bolton, though it wasn't the Bolton that is in Britain." - A lucky escape I'd say

I'll say!

I'm lucky not to have had to go to that
pet shop with the dead parrot that Michael
Palin was always trying to fob off on
John Cleese.

"....section between Bolton and Blackburn on which many people die each year." The Bolton story.

"He said a tourist from 2,000 miles away will get a flat or have a minor accident "that could've happened on any other road in the world," and they'll start blabbing about it being Beelzebub Boulevard." The Texas story....

....like accidents don't happen anywhere else in the world....

Accidents can be arranged just about anywhere.

Note to Self: Do not cross Saint Paul...

Don't worry, Mudhooks.
I am mostly harmless.
Hopefully, I'm not in the path of a Vogon bypass.

When puns are found to cause not permanent damage, then I will declare Paul "mostly harmless" ... but until then ...

A;; right, Shea, that's fair enough.
Just don't pun-cture my pride.
If you won't allow that I'm mostly harmless,
will you at least admit that I'm
harmly mostless?

http://www.npr.org/features/feature.php?wfId=1520170

WTF?

This will take your breath away. It did mine. It's a perfect of example of how influential radical Christian views are here in Texas, and how influential they're becoming in America with a radical Texas Christian in the Oval Office.

In case you can't listen to the link, here's the gist of the story:
The construction of a planned parenthood clinic here in Austin (which will also carry out abortions) has been halted by one anti-abortion activist. He contacted sub contractors for the job and threatened to blacklist the companies from any future church work throughout Texas. Many of the sub contractors have pulled out - some happily, others less so. As a result, the main construction company has had to pull out.

Even some pro-life owners of sub contractors are disgusted about the way this has been carried out.

Happily, there are also many supporters and contractors who are happy to step in and carry on the work, but anti-abortion campaigners all over America are falling over each to do the same thing in their states.

It's bullying, no two ways about it.

Now, this may surprise some of you - I'm anti-abortion. I believe that it's wrong to kill. I believe that life begins at the moment a cell divides for the first time after fertilisation. Therefore I believe that abortion is killing a human being. However, I'm not going to get in the way of anyone else who wants an abortion - that's really none of my business. Unless, that is, there's a chance that I may be the father, in which case I'd make my views clear before bumping uglies.

Since I had my tubes tied almost 20 years ago however, there's little chance of that happening.

My beef with the rabid pro-lifers is that they will act against a person who wishes to have an early term abortion here in "the free world", and yet, are amazingly silent about China forcing women to have abortions, sometimes at full-term birth.....

Is not ALL life precious? Is it because they are Chinese? I am baffled.

Here's a classic one from the PC police...

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/technology/3243656.stm

The word's "Master" and "Slave" in technology terms are now deemed to be offensive. Maybe we replace it by "Sensitive Dispositioner" and "Willing Executor" instead to ensure nobody has to have bad dreams at night?

Woodpigeon

Oh good grief

I've got no problem with 'primary' and 'secondary' though