h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

And then there's Brutus.

Who came first - the Roman or the shirt?

There might be some kids who would *want*
to be named after a product, Mudhooks.
Michael J. Fox was given a middle initial
by his parents, and when he was 5 or 6 he
was allowed to choose a middle name.
He chose "Jello."

Marco POLO, The VIRGIN Mary, SONY Bono, Sir Alec GUINNESS...

I think I might've chosen something like that at the age of five, but regretted it seven or eight years later

And then there's Jello Biafra...

Genesis P. Orridge...

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/magazine/3267993.stm

::SPOILER ALERT::

As if it wasn't enough that they sliced out the whole Tom Bombadil character and episode from Fellowship of The Ring...

If they've cut out all the Saruman parts from The Return of The King, that means they've removed the whole story about why Hobbiton and The Shire has been reduced to a land of dark satanic mills, Saruman's reappearance as Sharkey, and his demise. As a Maia and as leader of the order of wizards, his death is something of an event in the history of Middle Earth. To remove it is something of a mistake IMHO.

WTF?

Oh wait - it'll all be put back in as part of the 'extra 30 minutes' when the special edition six DVD set comes out around this time next year, after all the people who haven't figured that they should wait for that one instead of buying the two disc set when it comes out have wasted their money.

Cynical? Me?

Why? Why?

Or the teller at my father's bank whose name was Candy Cane..... She married a Cane.

Or the man my mother knew whose name was Donald Duck.

We have to take people's names from their driving licences whenever they sell any CDs at the store. My boss says that not long ago he took the details of someone called Gay Rainbow. I didn't believe him at first, but then he showed me the entry in the log. Now, I'm pretty sure his parents couldn't have called him that cos I've never come across anyone whose family name is Rainbow (although it's not enrirely impossible since I've heard of more than one person whose family name is Christmas), and if he changed his name to Gay Rainbow voluntarily, you gotta wonder

.... http://www.bhatboy.com/index.html

That's the name on his credit card (which he signs with the Batsign. I believe that is what's on his drivers licence, too.

I'm sorry I got involved in this thread.
Just when you think people can't get any
weirder than they already are, they get
way weirder.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/wear/3272073.stm

"Rees was remanded on bail for pre-sentence reports, but the judge hinted that he might be facing a prison sentence."

The judge *hinted* that he *might* be facing prison?

WTF

Lock up the sumbitch and throw away the ing key! Threatening a shopkeeper for not selling fags to an underage customer, and then driving at said shopkeeper (who, admittedly, shouldn't have been standing in the road, but what the hell else are you going to in the circumstances - I've done it myself more than once).

What kind of an example is that to set to the underage customer in question - your son?

That's why it's safer to order your stuff online.
You not only don't have to stand in the road,
you don't even have to get up from your computer.

But seriously though, that certainly seems to be the way the world's going. F'rinstance...

You can always tell when Christmas is coming by the increase in the number of ads for powered kitchen gadgets. Two which have caught my eye this year are the powered cheese grater and the powered washing up brush

I mean, it's just too much of an effort to move your hand up and down to grate cheese or to move your hand round and round to wash stuff off dirty dishes - let's all get even more lazy and use up precious energy resources at the same time!

And you've got to wonder about the motives of anyone who gives either of those two items as a Chrissy prezzy . I wouldn't want to be around when someone unwraps their parcels to find one of those staring them in the face

Oh, I don't know.
It's so hard to think of reasonable Christmas
presents these days. If you're going to get it
wrong anyway, why not go all the way?

Dream-machines....

Battery-powered margarine spreader
Battery-powered bog-paper unroller
Battery-powered page-turner
Battery-powered huffer for fogging ones glasses before polishing them
Battery-powered glasses lens polisher
Battery-powered nose tissue (with scrunching add-on)

An electric scrubbing brush? Next thing they'll make a machine that does the entire thing for you and all you have to do is load it up and put things away at the end.

As for the court thing, there was one like that today, where a guy had clubbed someone with a Krooklok for the crime of "trying to stop me queue-jumping" and the judge said a costodial sentence is almost unavoidable. I should think so too, preferably several years.

I think it might be the case that a judge isn't allowed to say "I'm going to gaol you" until he's looked at these report things and decided on the sentence, so he's reduced to saying what a nasty man the defendant is and hinting about the sentence. I hope that's it anyhow.

I hope there's more to his sentence
than a few words followed by a period.

Consider this.

A man molests his grand-daughter from age 3 to age 6, is caught red-handed by her step-father, arrested and charged only with the initial episode of "touching" (3 years before), is convicted and sentenced to....

9 months house arrest.....

He is allowed to go to work. No one is checking to make sure he sticks to the other conditions of his sentence, such as not being in places where children might be such as parks and swimming pools.

(oh... and no one thought to ask if he owns a computer (he does) and he is allowed to go to family functional, as long as he is accompanied by his wife (keeping in mind that he was caught in the child's home, with her parents in another room, and keeping in mind, that his wife believes that he only confessed "to get on with his life").

... oh, and no one has informed the neighbours in his high-density family neighbourhood.