h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Haven't seen that one.

The next movie I see will be "Van Helsing." Been waiting eagerly for it since January.

"Sawing his crotch with a towel, Sven explains: "The hobbyhorse move is a classic element of the repertoire." His students, two men and 20 women, sit breathless on their mats. His burnished chest has been immaculately shaved. "Now we're going to put everything you've learned together," he says. "But don't feel you have to go as far as I do. Take off as little or as much as you want. The important thing is, remain in your comfort zone." Then he lies down and humps the floor with relish." http://www.guardian.co.uk/women/story/0,3604,783094,00.html

Doesn't anyone just do sit-ups and jumping jacks anymore?

I'm fairly sure that cardio-stripping can accommodate those activities, too.

When you do calisthenics, there is no advantage in wearing clothing.

Okay... well, for me there would be.

Can you guess what "paper" this "gay paper" is?????

"We knew it was a gay paper and we hold that even as a joke, the gay community is proud of their advancements into the safe schools program in the U.S.," she said. "We don't think homosexuality in schools is a joke."

http://www.canoe.ca/NewsStand/LondonFreePress/News/2004/04/08/412787.html

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Probably the Onion.

While it's tragic that people like that exist and manage to infiltrate society daily, that story is hilarious!

In... something like 1978, the Small Wonder record label issued a single by a band called The Fatal Microbes called 'Violence Grows'. It's hardly a well known record, and Fatal Microbes were hardly a well known band - not in the same league as Wire, Gang of Four, The Fall, Slaughter and the Dogs, etc, but it's certainly known amongst people who spent their evenings listening to John Peel at the time, and I guess it has a certain cult status. The lead singer was a woman who called herself Honey Bane, although she was hardly a woman at the time - I think she was something like 16 years old.

So I'm Googling a few punk links, and I type <"Fatal Microbes" "Violence Grows"> into the search field, and what's the first hit? "Violence Grows Ringtone - The Fatal Microbes - Ringtones Galore"

I see.

My mobile has the creepy League of Gentlemen theme tune. Break out the Special Stuff....

Okay, how's this for an image: thousands of bloodsucking vampire babies emerging from their cocoons in Dracula's castle, a la "Van Helsing"

I know someone who has a bunch of fighting chimpanzees for their ringtone, and someone else with a miaowing kitten

And someone else who has an old fashioned telephone ring

I understand that Sauron has a nazgul's screech for his. It's his Lord of the Ringtone.

I like the screaming chimps one!

I wouls just be happy id mine rang long enough to get it out of my pocket ot purse in order to answer it.

I had (for no partiular reason) Hava Nagila on mine for about a week.... It might not have been bad if it was played in a tempo that it was intended, but this was dirge-like. Unfortunately, mine only came with a few tones most of them pretty lame and about 15 varieties of buzz/vibrate?!? (how many does one need?)

Two independent stories about the same kind of thing, that make one want to and say 'WTF'

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2004/05/28/patent_dating/
http://www.rollingstone.com/news/story?id=6066617

Christ almighty: I suppose some jerk will be claiming that he's patented a way of walking next, and we'll all have to pretend to be John Cleese, or else cough up.

This is a problem that I have with patents and what some people think they are for: patents were introduced not to allow some people to exclusively colonise a particular business niche but to encourage innovation by rewarding it. So patenting the *idea* of selling live concert CD's after the concert is ludicrous as it show no innovation in so doing. It's a nice idea, but so is curing malaria.

If a revolutionary and truly groundbreaking approach had been both necessary and applied in making this development possible, then patenting the approach would be enough to safeguard the revenue from that market. Instead, they've tried to patent the *idea* of solving the problem, rather than the actual solution. Pah!

Here is a good one... Monsanto sued an organic dairy over the wording "Our Farmers´ Pledge: No Artificial Growth Hormone" on its packaging. Monsanto's lawsuit says the label implies Oakhurst's milk is somehow better than milk from cows treated with rBST, and that unfairly harms Monsanto's business. The upshot is that the dairy must label their "Our Farmers´ Pledge: No Artificial Growth Hormone USED"
http://reclaimdemocracy.org/corporate_speech/monsanto_oakhurst_wired.html

They also won against a 73 year-old Saskatchewan farmer for patent infringement when their seeds blew over his fence and mixed with his stock.

"The source of the biotech genes was never determined.

Schmeiser, a veteran small-town politician, took a potentially esoteric case to the world, which sympathized with his David vs. Goliath fight.

Two lower courts agreed with Monsanto that a theft had occurred, regardless of how the genes got into Schmeiser's crop or whether he benefited from them. The Supreme Court's majority opinion called it "common sense" that saving, planting and harvesting the biotech seeds deprived Monsanto of the full benefits of its patent. "Mr. Schmeiser was not an innocent bystander," the majority said.

Four judges dissented, saying Schmeiser and his wife "were entitled to rely on the reasonable expectation that plants, as unpatentable subject matter, fall outside the scope of patent protection.""
http://www.truthabouttrade.org/article.asp?id=1873

http://biz.yahoo.com/prnews/040513/dcth009_1.html
http://www.mofga.org/news20031225.html