h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Um.. It's different from.... things... which are... not similar to it!!

As we have established I am a she. Though sometimes I wish I was a he 'cos they always seem to have it easy. I'm sure many men out there would disagree with my views, but that's not going to change them.
You blokes solve everything with violence in a few seconds while girls have to resort to starving themselves, not talking and other stupidly extreme measures which stretch the pain to the limit.
I am now going to think like a guy, 'cos though many ignorant girls in our form think that boys DON'T think, they seem to not think a whole lot better than girls do.
OK I've had my rave at my sex now lets get talking again.

*blinks at Jinx in a sort of "why the hell did you say that" kind of way*

Because I meant it, Dum Dum!

sigh

Pausing..

That explains a lot(!)

...Pausing only to reconstruct the whole infrastructure of integral mathematics in his head, he went about his humble task, never thinking to ask for reward, recognition, or even a moment's ease from the terrible pain in all the diodes down his left side.
"Fetch Beeblbrox," they say, and forth he goes.

You missed out an E, sweety.

Nice rant, you've convinced me (takes off dress, puts pants back on). Thinks "I don't feel any smarter" but says nothing , fearing the wrath of jinx. Instead he says, brightly, "how about them Mets?".

You could have done that in another room
there are females in here!

Mets? I only ever wear a skirt to school which is most of the time, but I really hate it. Honestly.
BTW:I wasn't watching when you changed. I am not perverted. Sometimes. Occasionally. Not often. I am perverted.

Sorry, forgot I was not alone. I'm wearing my computer glasses and have perfect vision up to 36 inches, then everything goes all blurry. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. Well, if the gender thing is all straightened out then, anyone for a beer?

*head droops low*

and me



kidding

not

am

not.

not kidding.

am kidding.

The Mets are a sports team, but I know nothing whatsoever about sports and am relieved that you didn't pursue that line. I am perverted, but in a nice way, (not really). If you are perverted why haven't I seen you at the meetings? (perhaps I have).

*Walks in wearing a kilt* Um... hello! Just thought I'd drop in because our gracious host, my arch rival wicked silliness, was kind enough to drop by my page. *Takes a seat, cafefully* These kilts are awkawrd!

Oops! That should have read "my arch rival _in_ wicked silliness" or "my arch rival _of_ wicked silliness". Normally I would let it slide, (I just assume everyone speaks typo as fluently as I do) but this forum seems to be full of grammar masters!

Welcome, I bought that chair you're sitting on as soon as I foresaw your visit. A kilt can't be more awkward than a chicken costume. (Puts bike in closet, closes door, locks same.) You can have the run of the place, but don't go down in the basement, it's for your own protection, if you don't mind. You've correctly observed that there is a fine (punctilious really) attention to spelling, punctuation, and grammar here. We're quite anal about it. The penalties for failure to observe these niceties are however, not severe. We don't go much beyond flogging or bondage, though I can't control jinx, so be careful.

Leans forward conspiratorially, "can you keep a secret?" (smirks) (whispers) "I sometimes slip a little error in my posts deliberately, I rather enjoy the bondage thing. Jinx is really good at knots and such". (leans back with a look of distant longing in his eyes). "but don't tell anyone about this OK?" he says with a supercilious smile. Of course the smile is not really supercilious at all I just like to use supercilious as often as possible, I'd use anthropomorphic as well, but I'm swearing off. Not cold turkey mind you, but moderation is the watchword here.

Well then, I'd best keep my postings short. My spelling is awful and I don't want to reach all the way across my desk for my dictionary. Which is why I stick to tiny little adjectives like "awful". I will also try to avoid the use of sentence framgments, as they are messy and get all over the carpet. In addition, I'll have to swear off semi-colons all together, because I never did learn to use them quite right.

*chews finger*

How many people are going to scorn me if I ask..
WHAT ARE YOU SAYING ABOUT ME?!