h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Chipper Jones ... the Atlanta Braves player that Mets fans love to jeer (Lar-ry! Lar-ry!) has decided to name his new son after me. I'm so proud.

http://www.signonsandiego.com/sports/20040831-9999-lz1s31galry.html

...and there was me thinking you were announcing a change in career, donning a fedora and going hunting for lost antiquities in ancient temples while irrate pigmies blew poison darts at you.

Oh, right. I meant to tell you that too. Sorry.

I'm impressed that he would name his kid after you!

I'm sure he's a nice guy even if he isn't one of the Mets, Shea. I have never held it against Joe DiMaggio or Mickey Mantle that they didn't play for the Boston Red Sox. Now, I may think most modern professional baseball players are overpaid, but I wouldn't holler derisive things at them when they step up to bat.

I prefer to not go to hames, depriving them of at least a little bit of revenue.

Sorry, that should have been games, not hames.

Congrats Shea! Hope TJ doesn't find out about your illegitimate one..

Oh and watch out for that pygmy!

What you need is an agent and a good scriptwriter, Shea. Or maybe *you* can write the screenplay yourself. Call it "Shea Jones and the Spork of Doom."

Paul, Larry told Mets fans to go home and put on their Yankees gear. Them's fightin' words around these parts!

And Larry's his *real* name ... which he hates ... that's why he gets it chanted at him ... oh, and the Larry Fine posters are really kinda funny ...