h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Yo! Crazies stop messing with my property! Do you know how hard it is to find an unihabited habitable planet!

*teleports to the IGMPD*
[DMwhim: teleport to the surface]
...right then...I see that you are going to try and stop me from producing more troops...but that's where this minion excels even farther above the rest
*the Destiny Minions start budding off other smaller Destiny minions who promptly beging absorbing material and, as a result, grow in size until they are the size of a standard Destiny Minion...*
ahh...the joys of technology...
*the already sizable force of Destiny Minions is now even larger*
as I have already said...your outnumbered and outclassed...

DH: We'll put the mud back later.

*the battle continues, neither side willing to give the other any room*

*makes more room*

*twenty alien ships blow up*

DMtalk: Comm. EC. Teams 5, 32, 88, and 90 through 107 were successful. They should be teleporting back to the surface now.

EC: Get a squad to cover me. I'm going to the Command ship.

SAC: We have infinite troops already.

*the bombing ships drop bombs on the DESTINYMINIONS, blasting large holes in the ground*

DH and MOWoS: Oh no you don't!

*sensing that the battle is drawing to a climax ad that viewers don't really want to watch much more, all three sides secretly roll 1d99 to determine the result*

Supreme Alien Commander: Skill 12 Stamina 24. Spells: Lower Defences, Raise Defences, Damage, Lower Skill

Darth Horrifus: Skill 12 Stamina 24. Spells: Lower Defences, Raise Defences, Damage, Lower Skill

MysteriousOneWoS: Skill 12 Stamina 24. Spells: Lower Defences, Raise Defences, Damage, Lower Skill

Round 1:
MysteriousOneWoS Attacks Supreme Alien Commander. Dice roll: 5. Enemy defence roll: 1. SAC takes 2 Damage.

Darth Horrifus Attacks Supreme Alien Commander. Dice roll: 3. Enemy defence roll: 5. DH takes 2 Damage.

Supreme Alien Commander Attacks MysteriousOneWoS. Dice roll: 6. Enemy defence roll: 6. Neither side takes Damage.

At end of round 1:
Supreme Alien Commander: Skill 12 Stamina 22.

Darth Horrifus: Skill 12 Stamina 22.

MysteriousOneWoS: Skill 12 Stamina 24.

Tell me who wins already or i stab ALL of you!

*attaches a bomb to the reactor of the command ship*
DMwhim: Teleport mark EC coord.

*teleports, DM follow*

*the legions of Destiny Minions on the ground are blasted to pieces*
*the Destiny Minions quickly reform from the pieces*
*several legions morph into a complete replicator ship*
*the outermost minions morph into Gauss Ion Cannons which promptly open fire on the bombing ships*

SAC: Say, guys... try to stop destroying ships now.
MOWoS: If me and Darth Horrifus win the battle, the alien fleet will be divided evenly amongst the sides fighting. That's some for Thing, Evil Army, I'm also an Assassin so Sundry Squadron gets some at their disposal...
DH: That's right!

Round 2:
MysteriousOneWoS Attacks Supreme Alien Commander. Dice roll: 6. Enemy defence roll: 1. SAC takes 2 Damage.

Darth Horrifus casts Lower Defence on Supreme Alien Commander. Spell: fails. Failure status: no rebound. Neither side suffers effects.

Supreme Alien Commander casts Lower Defence on Darth Horrifus. Spell: fails. Failure status: Rebound. SAC takes +1 damage when injured.

At end of round:

Supreme Alien Commander: Skill 12 Stamina 20. +1 damage when injured.

Darth Horrifus: Skill 12 Stamina 22.

MysteriousOneWoS: Skill 12 Stamina 24.

oooohooohooohooohooo...I smell backengineering...

Oy vey. DOn't you have infinite ships already? Besides what do you expect me to do? Just sit here and twiddle me thumbs while you fight on my planet?

...it's okay...I can backengineer from wreckage...

What about the wreckage i confiscated at the Great Defense? You could study that. Its in the EA storage building. You'd have to dimension-shift to get there though.

Round 3:

MysteriousOneWoS casts Lower Skill on Supreme Alien Commander. Spell: fails. Failure status: no rebound. Neither side suffers effects.

Darth Horrifus casts Lower Skill on Supreme Alien Commander. Spell: fails. Failure status: rebound. DH takes -1 Skill (attack strengths required).

Supreme Alien Commander Attacks MysteriousOneWoS. Dice roll: 1. Enemy defense roll: 5. SAC takes 3 Damage.

At end of round:

Supreme Alien Commander: Skill 12 Stamina 17. +1 damage when injured.

Darth Horrifus: Skill 11 Stamina 22.

MysteriousOneWoS: Skill 12 Stamina 24.

yes...but why have just one piece of junk when you can have even more junk...?

You could ... oh i don't know... capture some of their ships!! With the IGMPDs!

Round 3:

MysteriousOneWoS Attacks Supreme Alien Commander. Dice roll: 1. Enemy defense roll: 4. MOWoS takes 2 Damage.

Darth Horrifus Attacks Supreme Alien Commander. Dice roll: 5. Enemy defense roll: 5. Neither side takes Damage.

Supreme Alien Commander Attacks MysteriousOneWoS. Dice roll: 5. Enemy defense roll: 5. SAC takes 3 Damage.

At end of round:

Supreme Alien Commander: Skill 12 Stamina 14. +1 damage when injured.

Darth Horrifus: Skill 11 Stamina 22.

MysteriousOneWoS: Skill 12 Stamina 22.

true...or I could use the replicator that I just morphed...

Scrap the previous post that I made.

Round 4:

MysteriousOneWoS Attacks Supreme Alien Commander. Dice roll: 1. Enemy defense roll: 4. MOWoS takes 2 Damage.

Darth Horrifus Attacks Supreme Alien Commander. Dice roll: 5 (AS=16). Enemy defense roll: 5 (AS=17). Darth Horrifus takes 2 Damage.

Supreme Alien Commander Attacks MysteriousOneWoS. Dice roll: 5. Enemy defense roll: 5. SAC takes 3 Damage.

At end of round:

Supreme Alien Commander: Skill 12 Stamina 14. +1 damage when injured.

Darth Horrifus: Skill 11 Stamina 20.

MysteriousOneWoS: Skill 12 Stamina 22.

Can't you use narrative style: Darth Horrifus slashed at the alien commander but he just laughed and dodged.

Or action style: *DH slashes* *SAC dodges* SAC:

Or summary style.