h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Refreshments?

*stabs the Alien Commander* I think I'll dine on YOU!

Yes indeed, refreshments.

Please try not to eat me, I was thinking of your Hootoo food.

Drink?

*stabs Alien again* YOU WILL DIE! Or at least bleed.

*bleeds into a cup* Oh. Representative of wine?

*meditates* O Shee Mar Tar Hoom. Kuba Den Skaya.

*wonders what EC is doing, goes over to the alien commander and comments on the size of EC's blood vessels bulging from his neck*

*an fighting aura clearly manifests itself around EvilClaw* Ready to die?

Yes indeed. Noble EvilClaw, please do calm down.

This should be nasty. You know, he hasn't made any threats against us. perhaps we should hear what he has to say?

*sits down* Fine.

Yes indeed, please hear what I have to say.

I AM listening. Now.

get on with it!!

The planet Fruglertung, 5,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 light years away, has long remained secret. Its distance from H2G2 meant that it was never found out, but slowly, steadily, over the course of 2 weeks, the Fruglertungi Empire was expanding. Over 5,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 light years has been spanned across the Galactic disk now. Quite by chance, we discovered H2G2, and studied it closely. It seemed to prevent a challenge. Therefore, we moved the fleet to Outpost 57395i375o07330cj3439nejad, but it got blown up. The Fleet was launched, and the Invasion began. *the impenetrable Bridge Doors seal* And now, the Invasion will end! *looks to MOWoS's third personality, over which he has no control* My master, the Fleet is ready.

I agree.

Cool! I knew all along that M1 was behind this! *unsheaths swords* *fighting aura returns*
*bites lip until it bleeds* Bersekeeeeeeeeeeeer!

*the True Commander of the Fruglertungi steps forward* Now, you will witness what happens to the Evil Army... *anti-replication drives charge up, and then an anti-regeneration field covers the Army Base, then anti-discombobulation and discommandment blasts envelope the Army Base* If you remain here, and watch, no harm will come to you. Bring the Fleet around.

Yes, my Master. *the massive Fleet, four hundred and fourty-four times the size it was before, comes around and hangs in the sky, waiting for resistance, whilst the Flagship transforms into an Outpost Space Station* I hope we can be in agreement that this Outpost will remain here as a... embassy station in any event that may happen.