h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Or vice versa, as the case may be....

Nooooooooo!


It's a good job I happen to have a large cellar (a conveniently local branch of the Co-Op!).

i thought you had vodka on tap and bought bottled water Gwennie...

Mair is doing well! Please give her my best!

Yes, please, (about the )

I do?

*Checks the taps at her kitchen sink*

That's amazing! It would explain why all my freshly-laundered clothing has a 'distinctive' odour and the dishes emerge from the dishwasher smelling like a brewery!

Mair is doing well and I'm naturally extremely proud of her. She is enjoying university, although she has lost weight and now I am concerned that she isn't eating properly! (Not that she ever ate properly whilst at home - what with my flamethrower cookery!)

*Pours out several glasses of *

it's much easier to burn things on a bbq my dear

i'm sure a skilled hausfrau like our gwennie doesn't need a bbq to burn her meals properly, linus

All I usually have to do in order to 'flame' food is to glower at it!

If I didn't know you better and if it wasn't true, I would resent being called a (refers to Pierce's posting) 'hausfrau'.

resent all you will, my dear

i think you might end up frozen rather than burnt judging by that look

Let's see... there should be a better term for caring for a disabled husband, bringing up two children to succeed in their lives, one of whom has special needs, managing a household, caring for three dogs, and two cats and giving them the attention they need, and managing to put herself through college at the same time, and earning top marks. "Hausfrau" just doesn't seem to do it.

How about Superwoman??

Aww! Shucks Mari! You make it all sound so difficult!

Does this mean I can start wearing bright red knickers over blue tights? I've heard those blue tights are indestructible and are brilliant for supporting varicose veins!

I'm a glutton for punishment as I'm currently taking another PowerPoint course and a 'maths for the terrified class to remind me how to 'do stuff' sans calculator. I have also signed up for a Sage computerised accounting course, which is due to start in January. It beats housework and cooking!

By the by, I have found that my specs magnify my glowering levels, so watch out chaps!

i think 'hausfrau' covers the whole field perfectly, but i am also fine with logistics manager, managing director, president, chief executive officer and what have you.

but superwoman doesn't fit. it's a colour problem, actually: green cryptonite will not harm gwennie...



















...and red knickers over blue tights will not suit her

superwoman?
how about just plain mad...

The Mad Hausfrau, then? What sort of outfit do you think this new sort of superhero should wear? Driving gloves are probably a must have.

as is a full blown cleaning neurosis, i would guess

A full blown cleaning neurosis sounds like something one does when one is suffering from a head cold!

*Blows her nose loudly and wipes it clean on Pierce's hat, which she replaces on firmly his head*

well, she could lose the blue tights for starters...

would you be able to notice any difference, i wonder?

One assumes, that you are insinuating my legs are covered with blue varicose veins and that the absence of blue tights, would therefore go unnoticed?

*Rolls up her sleeves with deadly purpose*