h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I'm not weird , I'm differently normal.

My health is nothing to brag about but I'm sure it will last me the rest of my life

I have few health worries now. In the Summer, I eat vegetables fresh out of my garden and give my mind a rest while I do gardening. In the Winter, I do indoor sports such as jumping to conclusions, pushing my luck, and running off at the mouth.

Also snow shoveling. I've just brought my shovels into the house from the shed where they spent the summer.

good news

"Also snow shovelling. I've just brought my shovels into the house from the shed where they spent the summer"


shut the bloody door, snow drifts in't house ain't good

Would you prefer that I wade through deep snow to the shed to get the shovels?

If there is enough snow you may not need to do that. You can dig a tunnel instead

Dig a tunnel with a nonexistent shovel?



You must have me confused with Harry Potter.

You mean you're not?

Now I wonder which of all the characters at Hogwarts you would prefer to be?

The retired school librarian? You would know a lot about magic spells after having worked their for decades. Intriguing! You could mean danger to a lot of people!

Now I'm looking forward to reading your memoirs!

there - not their

"Would you prefer that I wade through deep snow to the shed to get the shovels"

I knew that

luckily, my outhouse is in the passageway to back door, but I also have a supply of salt to spread on the path as well

We're facing another El Nino, but it will be a fairly weak one, not like the 2014/2015 winter that gave us ten feet of snow . (three and a half feet is the amount we get in a normal winter.)

I wave my wand and say, "Acceo trulla," and a shovel magically flies through the air and into my hand.

That's not a good way to use a librarian's time and qualities. Can't you turn the into and make them shovel your ?

Shoveling is good exercise. In Summer, I shovel dirt for planting flowers and vegetable seeds. In Winter, I shovel snow if there is any.

I'm reading a book about living to be a centenarian in good health. Granted, the places like Abkhasia and Villacabomba have the good luck to be in mild climates where snow and severe Summer heat are rare, so veggies and fruits can be grown pretty much year-round. Also, there are numerous hills to climb and descend, forcing residents to be physically active.

By comparison, I live where it's flat and wildly variable in temperature. We often have more than a dozen days in the 90s F., and a similar number in the single digits or below zero. Agriculture from Halloween to April Fool's Day is nonexistent, unless you have sugar maples to tap. Even asparagus, one of the few veggie perennials, doesn't get big enough to pick much before May.

But apparently an analysis of the lifespan figures for American counties gives the nod to some places in the Dakotas, where men live longer than average. Like Boston, some of these counties have some flat terrain, but the winter cold is considerably more severe....

My maternal grandfather - like so many others - died from shovelling snow. I know, because I was there.
And I have personally experienced the surprising and overwhelming fatigue that can hit you when you enter your warm house after shovelling in winter temperatures.
So take care!
We tend to overdo the shovelling because the air is cool an clear but it really takes its toll on your circuit - and some don't even realize it before it's too late!

Heat stroke is the sneaky killer in these parts.

I shovel a little at a time.

Seriously, though, I don't have a choice about when my time is up, but it would be honorable to go while doing something heroic and manly . (Or personly, since women also shovel)

But, as I've mentioned earlier, shoveling pretty much year-round might prevent snow-shoveling from being a huge shock to my system.

"I don't have a choice about when my time is up"

I'm putting in for overtimedying is too common, I don't do common