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The Assassins guild was founded in an attempt to keep murder "under control".
Any unlicensed assassins will have a contract immediately taken out on that person's life. ^{1  2}
The guild will not take contracts on the italics or on editors. Any attempted contracts on these groups will result in a contract being taken out on the person responsible.
Assassins usually do not kill for petty grudges or for personal reasons. Assassins usually do not kill based on race or religion. Assassins rarely , under certain circumstances, torture, if ever. ³ Assassins do not kill for the joy of killing. No, we do it for the money and because we know the value of a life, we do it for a lot of money. ⁴

The price paid represents the work done and the difficulty of the task. For example if you pay a small amount for the leader of a society then it stands to reason that that person will not be inhumed. Also if that person is under guild protection then that person may take a contract on your life.

Contracts may be taken out on guild members if the price, or reason, is deemed sufficient.

Any injures acquired during a contract may be held at the medical centre.

Members of the guild are required to wear the Assassin's black clothing in a style of your choice unless told otherwise. Weapons and poisons may be acquired from shops; guild members will be given a discount. Bounty hunters and all other allies will be given visitor status unless they wish to join the guild; visitors are to be shown the respect that would be shown to a fellow Assassin of the rank of the visitor. However, no on one these groups, not even the leader, is the equivalent of anything more than a Coordinator.

Members of the guild are required to follow the rules of mild continuity at nearly all times or they may suffer severe consequences. And the senseless, boring arguments that ensue.

The guild would also like to point out that due to potential paradoxes there can be no time travelling in the guild, except by a licensed time traveller. This is for your own safety, and everyone's sanity.

Also if when in the guild you are found to have committed acts of treason they will be dealt with by the inquisition. ^{5  6}

-Doctor Anthea (Guild leader)

In the guild there are certain special positions available. You may apply for as many of these as you wish and they all can provide extra promotion opportunities.

• The sundry (attack/defence squad)
• The scientists(the laboratory)
• The inquisition
• The battle grounds

• Main Page
• Front Door
• Guildmaster's Office
• Common Room
• Dorms/Plotting Palace
• Hallway
• Guild Stores
• Duck Room
• Medic's Room
• IT Support Office
• Main Laboratory
• Lab 18
• Lab 18 Tea Room
• OSOK Bar and Grill
• Battle Arena
• Antimagic Building
• Training Grounds
• Brig
• Torture Chamber
• Inquisition

• Black Widow House
• Viper House
• House of Thing
• House of Gods
• Graveyard
• Forest
• Dark Path
• Hot Springs
• Caves
• Secret Lair
• Sniper Area
• Whirlpool
• Wishing Well
• Great Cavern
• Hideout
• Underground Streams
• Cliffs
• Peak
• Sundry Squadron
• Continuity

• T.B. Falsename - £100,000
• Raekor - £200,000,000
• THOR, the Norse god of thunder, wanted dead.... payment on completion of the task.
• Isross - silver use, being a general nuisance (5 bars of gold and an emerald amulet, a cuddly toy, a plant pot, and some other things as well.)
• astrotomato - for starting the h2g2 Vs Collective war
• Any and all unlicensed thieves/assassins will be "inhumed" (£5000)

If you wish to take out a contract then please do so here:

• The Fleet Admiral's office.

• Helen - Current "guest" of guildmaster.
• Mr. C - Personal Agreement with Guild Leader, price on request.
• Brother Lemon - 30,000 gold and a year supply of cat nip