h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Are you going to be gentle this time?

Of course I wil! now I've got my legs open, you have the baloon? right, move closer towards me

*approaches 2Legs apprehensively as flashback occurs* This close?

Yh, I think thats close enough *moves in a bit closer this baloon sure is big *opens legs even wider Oo, oh good thought I was about to loose my balance *wraps knees round baloon, and squeezes gently I got it!

2Legs, why do they call you 2Legs when it is more than obvious that you could give Jake the Peg a run for his money? *takes a step back and looks at ......... balloon*

Things to do with a set of darts, timing is essential

darts!

Screw the darts!
...*whips out wrist bar of wee stinger missles...fires...*

*hides behind baloon!

*BANG*

baloon gone! baloon gone! wah wah wah wah baloon gone!

Never mind the balloon.. where did the hit??

Awww don't worry 'bout 2 legs! I understand he always wears titanium undies.

I'm only wearing a cotton thong! *checks nope; didn't end up there hey never mind lets paaarrrtttyyyy!

S***, underkegs, I know I'd forgot somethinga bit draughty

Never mind, Prof. Just nip round to 2Legs place. I hear he's big in the underwear department

sounds of 'smirking'

I don't know what you mean <

Don't make me use the rest of my missles 2 legs. Never know when a girl might need protection.

*grabs bottle of and slips down behind the sofa, where it's safe*