h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

It could be Ripper...

No, it isnt

Jack Black! You're in that new King Kong movie?!

sadly, no

It's zheacertoidrethanthic

Cal! You shouldnt be giving out my last name on the internet! dangerous people might stalk me!

You mean more dangerous than feathers Mcgraw? http://www.shaders.org/graphics_factory/feather.htm THE crafty penguin? I don't believe it!

its true I tell you!

Wallace and Grommit!

really? really? there are worse things?

than a penguin who pretends to be a chicken?

*gasps*

You mentioned the "P" word in Jack's Journal!!

*makes a note of Jack's last name and Googles it*

I had no idea...

did you see that bit about him being ...*whisper whisper whisper*


oh and also *whisper whisper whisper*


and the thing about *whisper whisper whisper*

He's such a dark horse

* A fanfare blares out as the Doc crashes through the wall, even though there is a door two feet away. Brushing rubble off his shoulder and the odd brick from his hair, he assumes a pantomime hero pose, sunlight glinting off his hollywood teeth.........TING! *

ALWAYS make a grand entrance, thats what I say!

I understand that my former labbite amigo and Health Inspecktor was hiding out in this thread - is that right? Jack! Baby! THERE you are - thought you had been a bit quiet lately. I have been asked to come here by my Evil Mercenary Lab Wifey to sort you out - so I have brought along a selection of head pizzas and Hawaiian shirts that are guaranteed to obliterate all known germs and other buggy things.

*Puts a neon hued shirt on Jack that is so bright you can see it from the moon and nails a matching Hawaiian Pizza to his head*

There! Its like you have never been away boy! I have to say that our dear Bimbo standing over there has been in bits since you left the Lab - I think she took quite a shine to you........well, you and every other male with a pulse but that is neither here nor there. Go on Jack, throw another at her for old times sake.........SSHHHRRRRIEEEEEEKKKKK!

Good shot boy! So - now you look like an extra out of Hawaii Five O, whats your poison? I feel a Beach Party coming on..........everybody Salsa!

*The Doc grabs Jack and starts a manic conga line*

Anyone care to join in?

some entrance!

* Grabs Venus, dips her low, gives her a playful and proceeds to propel her round the room doing a manic Mamba as the bongos reach a frenzied peak*



Glad you could join the party hun! Now where IS everyone??

crivens! I never knew the ultimate cure for all illness was gettting a pizza nailed to you! I wonder why my doc didnt know about that

My boy, the secrets of Pizza's nailed to ones head was passed down to me man and boy from an obscure pygmy tribe that reside this side of Watford in darkest Rickmansworth. They tells stories of living for hundreds of years - the only limiting factor is the sheer number of Pizzas one needs nailed to ones head to achieve this.

Perhaps that explains why they are Pygmies - after all, the weight of 30 or more deep pans with all the toppings would tend to restrict vertical growth, dont you think?

As for your Doc not knowing this, well it stands to reason doesnt it? He is "Just" a normal Doctor. He is not "The" Doctor! There is only one of me!

So - Fancy a fast Fandango son?

BIMBO! SSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHRRRRRRRREEEIIIIIIIKKKKKKKK!

Good girl - stick something Fandango stylee on the juke box will you petal?

Good!